#120. People Calling Their Reps and You

Hi everyone,

Almost exactly a year ago, on the way to see Oh, Mary OFF-Broadway (brag!), a friend said to me: “[My wife] is always begging me to make more money, but I just want to support her endeavors!” (Hi, friends who I did not name! I know you are here sometimes!) I thought that was such a beautiful show of devotion! Like obviously making money is one way to support a partner’s endeavors. But it is such a generous feeling to wish you had more time and resources to dedicate towards that goal.

One of the best things about being married is having someone you love and admire to cheer for up close all the time. This idea has been top of mind for me, seeing the lead-up to Maris’s book launch (I Want To Burn This Place Down, available for pre-order now). I know what it’s like to write a book (brag?) but it’s felt extra-special to watch someone I love work so hard on a project of this magnitude and personal significance, and then see how wonderfully the book itself turned out (obviously) and then to track friends and strangers receiving and reading and loving this book. People ask me about Maris and her book all the time, and I’m always abuzz with excitement over how much effort she put into it and how it’s paid off. If you aren’t effervescent with joy for your partner’s accomplishments, you’re leaving feelings on the table, tbh. That’s your excitement too! Feel it for them when they can’t! Feel it with them when they can!

In other Josh Gondelman (that’s me!) news: I was on the most recent episode of The Bugle last Tuesday making jokes about our horrible reality with Andy Zaltzman and Alice Fraser. ALSO on Tuesday, the second episode of Circle Round that I recorded at Symphony Hall in Boston aired, and you can listen to it as a podcast now. It’s called “The Salmon Famine” and I play a big hairy giantess.

Were the giant sisters outfoxed by a coyote? Tune in to find out!

AND FINALLY on Tuesday I returned to All Of It with Alison Stewart to field listener calls about the subway as part of their “Small Stakes, Big Opinions” segment. I am always delighted (and occasionally horrified) by the breadth and depth of the comments from New York City’s public radio listeners, and this visit was no exception. One guy told a story about sitting down in an empty train car in the 80s and realizing his feet were in a puddle of blood. New York City!

Thursday night I’ll be in Philadelphia talking to Kelsey McKinney about her wonderful new book You Didn’t Hear This From Me which is a New York Times bestseller! Congratulations to Kelsey, a genius who deserves the world! See some of you there, maybe!!! (This came after FINALLY because in my head it’s a different type of thing.)

A MOMENT OF BUSINESS

Thanks to everyone who answered my question about paid newsletter features last week! I will likely move this newsletter to a different platform (which I’m told requires no work from readers and will be seamless for you all) with new a paid tier that will make it financially feasible. More on that in the future, I think!

I have one more little question for you all, regarding a different project I’m scheming on: What is something from school that you either wish you’d learned or did learn and have forgotten the details of? I’m especially interested in stuff that you vaguely know, but you don’t have access to the specifics off the top of your head. How does photosynthesis work? Why is the periodic table of elements…like that? What was King Lear’s deal? Which amendments are in the Bill of Rights? When did Alexander the Great…do his Great-ing? That kind of stuff!

I’d love to hear if you have specific thoughts on this! Thanks so much in advance!

PEP TALK FOR PEOPLE CALLING THEIR REPS

I imagine most people calling their reps do it from this phone.

In last week’s newsletter, I mentioned 5 Calls, a tool for getting in touch with your government representatives about fascism (derogatory) and other issues. And I wanted to offer a little pep for people who feel a little trepidation about making such calls!

1. I know there are many people my age and younger who hate making phone calls in general. That’s because a phone call has become primarily an avenue for learning that someone died or spending three hours listening to gentle music before being told that no your insurance doesn’t actually cover that procedure. These calls are not like that! They are quick, and no one will yell at you, and you will not learn that someone from your hometown is terminally ill. Probably.

2. From everything I’ve heard, it doesn’t take a staggering number of phone calls to nudge most local reps one way or another. You don’t even need to be that persuasive. You don’t need to make a 12 Angry Men type of impassioned speech. Just call, state your opinion firmly when they ask, and then hang up and go back to work or eat a sandwich or play some video games. You can be one of the most influential two dozen people in your zip code, depending on whether Ezra Klein or Roxane Gay also lives in your zip code.

3. It feels weird that people we’ve voted for need this kind of push to do the right thing. If I had a job, and it took a bunch of strangers (but not strangers from too far away) calling my office to tell me how to do it, I would widely be considered bad at that job. Many elected officials are not like this. They look for either the popular cover to make good choices, or the threat of losing votes if they don’t. For better and worse, democracy asks this participation of us. It shouldn’t be discounted that much like every profession from cardiologist to barista to skydiving instructor, some politicians are not very good at their jobs. Unlike with those other occupations, it is our civic duty to call our representatives on the phone and give them the democratic equivalent of Yelp reviews. (Arguably it is a public service to let people know about a subpar cardiologist or skydiving instructor as well. If you have a complaint about someone making minimum wage though, generally keep it to yourself unless they have put you in a place of bad-cardiologist level danger or racist-skydiving-instructor level discomfort.)

Okay that’s all! Good luck out there!

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I did just a little tweaking to this request. Mostly comma-related stuff. You get it.
(I also added the nickname myself.)

Work is unsettled, and there are pending layoffs. My kids barely listen to me and frustrate me beyond end. I'm just trying to keep my family happy and carve out some time to work out for my physical and more importantly, mental health.
- It’s All Bad (Baby, Baby)

Every so often I find myself getting a little advicey in the newsletter. Longtime readers, of course, know that this is not my intention. I’m just here to hype my readers up, to offer a little enthusiasm and encouragement. That has been a tricky proposition lately, as the world seems to be getting bad in new and terrifying ways (in addition to classic, 1930s ways). It’s so tempting to respond to reader messages like a twerpy little know-it-all, when in reality I do not know very much at all. Or to say: You know what? That does sound awful. End of reply.

It comes as a relief to receive a request this week about which I feel no sense of authority, earned or not. I feel no expertise regarding this reader’s problems. I don’t have kids. I haven’t had a full-time job in a couple of years. My mental health is comically dependent on the ups and downs of the Boston Celtics. I can be of no material help. This uncertainty, paradoxically, is where I thrive. The realm of pure, untethered vibes.

You, IAB(BB), aren’t quite in a nowhere-to-go-but-up place. But your situation certainly seems to have, as I used to euphemistically say in my teaching days, room for improvement. This doesn’t have to be it for you. Things can be better. The turbulence at your job can ease up, or more likely you’ll leave and end up somewhere less volatile. You can find a rhythm for some sort of movement and/or additional vegetable intake that makes you feel a little healthier in your body. You can figure out a way to keep your brain as healthy as possible. That can look a lot of different ways. Yoga. Medication. Therapy. Howling at the moon. The less-frequently-practiced but probably-equally-effective howling at the sun. Whatever works for you!

Your kids will get cooler too. No matter how many Ramones onesies you buy for a baby, it’s still going to be a baby. It will be years before that baby can buy you a beer or even a slice of pizza. Kids, even ones you love, are still kids. It takes a little while for them to grow up. That’s why we have the expression: “Grow up!!!” All you can do is your best to be there for them and keep lots of ass ice on hand for when they’re a pain in your ass. But won’t always be this way! Your kids will gain new skills and perspective! They won’t even be this same height for long!

We are encouraged to live in the moment, but this moment seems stressful on a lot of levels. I’m not suggesting full delusion or dissociation, although those do seem like fun indulgences and honestly recent history has shown that the sky’s the limit in terms of how far they can take you. What I mean is, this moment isn’t the only moment you’ll ever live in. There will be other, future moments where things will be different. You kids will have new hobbies. You’ll have passed through this excruciating work purgatory (workatory). You’ll figure out how to be okay. Things can always be worse of course, but they don’t have to be.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
Julia Jacklin - “Someday” (yes, it’s a Strokes cover)

On Friday morning I was sitting in a coffee shop, and I heard a song that was familiar and also not familiar. The words and tune, for sure, belonged to the song “Someday” off of the Strokes’ debut album, but I didn’t recognize the singer. I clumsily googled “someday the strokes cover female vocalist” and quickly pinpointed this version as Julia Jacklin’s cover from (as far as I can tell) 2017.

Lately I have felt awash in coffee shop-style acoustic covers of popular songs, because Maris and I have been watching the Hulu series Paradise starring Sterling K. Brown. A significant plot point in the show is that the president (played by James Marsden) maintains his corny taste in anthemic 1980s music despite [PREMISE OF SHOW REDACTED BECAUSE IT’S A SECRET FOR SOME REASON], and many episodes conclude with the action set to lightly mournful covers of these songs. (Is anyone else watching this show? A couple of friends (as well as my mother-in-law) put me onto it and it’s an extremely good time.)

These takes on the 80s hits don’t do a ton for me, maybe because the source material (“We Built This City,” “I Think We’re Alone Now” which I know is already a cover) isn’t something I’m usually craving to begin with. But there’s also this sense that the reimaginings on the soundtrack are more about “Check THIS out! Isn’t this something????” than it is about a real connection to the song. Julia Jacklin’s someday features kind of a swinging cymbal beat (maybe I’m not describing that right) and a mellow but sincere-sounding take on the lyrics.

I played “Someday” (Julia’s version) for Maris on Saturday morning, and she agreed that it was a good one, and then afterwards “Sofia” by Clairo came up on Apple Music and honestly that’s a very nice song too, so why not link to it here as well?

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’m out and about in NYC a whole bunch coming up, plus a few shows on the road!

2/27: Kelsey McKinney’s Book Launch (Philadelphia)

2/28: Abolish Everything at Caveat (NYC)

3/2: Steve Martin Presents at Union Hall (Brooklyn…but not that Steve Martin)

3/7: Pine Box Rock Shop (Brooklyn)

3/10: Purim Show at Littlefield (Brooklyn)

3/11: The Backspace at Nod Hill (Ridgefield, CT)

3/15: Bushwick Comedy Club, Taylor Garron’s Show at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

3/17: Co-hosting Frankenstein’s Baby at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

3/19: Opening for Adam Cayton-Holland at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

4/4-4/5: The Comedy Attic (Bloomington, IL—ticket link soon!)