#123. Maggie The Pug and You

Let's press paws on the bad news for a second.

Hi everyone,

I’m sure many things happened this week, but I sincerely cannot remember most of them because on Saturday, Maris and I ADOPTED A NEW DOG!!!!

“You didn’t tell me we were doing a fun one!”

Well, she is a four-year-old dog, but she is new to us. Please join me in gazing upon Maggie aka Mags aka Magoo aka Magpie aka Princess Margaret aka Small Marge aka Dame Maggie Squish aka (via my friend Alex, based on her innate sense of curiosity) Maggie PI and also Maggatha Christie for the same reason.

“Hey what’s going on up there? Are you lounging on the couch without me?”

Maggie is four years old and was staying with a lovely foster family in Worcester, MA (that’s right, a Wusstah Fostah) before she came to live with us. On our ride home, we listened to “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart and then just kept his music on, causing me to dub our journey the IditaRod. We’re still getting to know each other, but so far her favorite activities include snuggling, long walks where she scrambles up one stair of every stoop we pass and then back down, making friends with everyone she meets, tug of war with one of her Lamb Chop toys, and doing this extremely cute thing where she gets up from a nap, lunges one step forward, and then flops immediately back down onto her tummy to sleep more. Once she starts peeing/pooping outside, we’re going to be on easy street.

Maggie’s very nice foster mom told us about the 3:3:3 rule (which sounds like an incredible sale at Papa John’s), meaning that it takes a new dog three days to calm down in a new home, three weeks to get used to the new routine, and three months to feel really at home. Fortunately, our new friend seemed very relaxed right away and has already found many excellent surfaces on which to nap! She’s practically a prodigy!

Thanks so much to the Pug Rescue of New England for helping us find such a perfect little gremlin!

(Oh I remember what else I did! I recorded podcasts with some of my favorite people…more news on that soon! And I went back on All Of It with Alison Stewart to talk with listeners about positive ways they’ve changed their lives since the start of the pandemic.)

Coming up! Tonight’s Frankenstein’s Baby show is an absolute scorcher, and I’m co-hosting it with Tyrone Thornhill! Joe Pera will be there! Skyler Higley is visiting from LA! Asha Ward and Kenice Mobley are on the lineup! Let’s do this! If you can’t make it tonight I’m opening for my friend Adam Cayton-Holland, who is outstanding, in the same room at the same time on Wednesday!

This lineup is legitimately outrageous.

4/4-4/5 I’m headlining the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana for four shows! Extremely excited to share a bunch of new jokes at one of the best clubs in the country!

On 4/14, I’ll be in Boston for a fundraiser at Laugh Boston for my old friend Mike Dorval’s cancer treatment. Gary Gulman and Brian Kiley and Tony V and Tooky Kavanagh are on that show too! Come to the seaport! You won’t be disappointed!

Also, on 4/22 I’m co-headlining a show in Manhattan (rare! exciting!) with Marina Franklin who is so so funny!

PEP TALK FOR MAGGIE THE PUG

Okay twist my arm here’s one more picture of Maggie.

You are so cute and sweet. Everybody in the neighborhood is excited to meet you. One person almost cried. Maris is so happy that you live with us; she said if the news was going to stay this bad, she needed something soft to pet and worry about. So far you are two for two.

I anything bad ever happens to you, I will turn into Liam Neeson from Taken on whoever harmed you, even if it’s like…heat or the concept of time.

You’ve lived in our apartment for slightly less than forty-eight hours, and you weigh sixteen pounds, but we love you already.

We also believe very much in your ability to start peeing outside, and we would love for that to happen. I know I said that already, but it really does feel worth repeating.

(Sorry this is such a short one. We have been pretty tied up with New Dog Things over here, which has been really nice.)

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I kept this request mostly intact, just so you all know.

Help! I'm a Gen X'er who mainly listens to music beloved by young millennials/Gen Z'ers. I just bought a single ticket to see one of my favorite bands, Car Seat Headrest, and I'm already dreading feeling like a grandma. The only time I can find a friend willing to attend a show with me is if I'm going to see an "oldies" act, like the Pavement reunion tour or Frank Black of the Pixies. (Both of those shows were great, but I want to see more new music!) Should I just resign myself to the fact that I'm older than dirt and skip seeing Momma in favor of the latest "I Love the 90s" package tour?
- Grandma! At the Rock Show

A rock and roll concert is not like a playground. It is not weird to be a lone adult there. My best guess is that if anyone notices you at all, they think it’s cool that you showed up. When an older person is into new music, it speaks highly of their open-mindedness. And unless you are dressing in a comically Gen Z style (giant cargo pants, crop top, “my other hat is ketamine” baseball cap) most people barely clock you at all, even if you’re solo. It’s much easier to notice people who are spiritually alone. By that I mean, the one guy dancing with an intensity that no one else is even approaching. And if that’s you, as long as you’re careful where you flail, you’re probably too engrossed in the rhythm for you to register them registering you (to paraphrase Neil Diamond).

Will Toledo from Car Seat Headrest is 32 years old (I did have to look that up). His fans are probably largely adults too. This isn’t a Sabrina Carpenter show that’s (to a significant degree) full of teenagers and parents whose kids aren’t old enough to drop them off and leave. But, on second thought, you’d probably be fine there too. My presence might raise some eyebrows, which is not my fault, but I think I profile less as a Sabrina Carpenter fan and more like a Sabrina Carpenter fan fan. :(

A show provides the exact right context for hanging out with younger people and having it not be weird. It’s exactly the opposite of the context provided by, let’s say, being the 72-year-old former head coach of the New England Patriots and dating a woman literally 1/3 your age in a pairing that is so visually incongruous it seems designed to drive the corner of the internet obsessed with “age gap” discourse into babbling madness. Maybe you’ll share a few hours among people with dissimilar tenures on this planet but common musical interests. Maybe you’ll make some new friends who will want to join you and the rest of your cohort for Geriatric Cool shows.

Even when you’re alone at a concert, you’re never really alone. You’re always close by people who care about art the way you do. Unless your cargo pants are really big, in which case the other people are several feet away.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
Lane Moore & It Was Romance - “Playing Records”

Lane Moore is a comedy person and also a music person, which frankly is too much talent and should be outlawed, but that’s not what we’re here for. “Playing Records” is in the lineage of “Dancing on My Own” in that it’s about listening to music in an energetic way that is also sad.

I don’t listen to a lot of electronic music, in part because I’m not much of a dancer. But I do like dance-y songs that are also a little more song-y. I like that Rihanna song about finding love in a hopeless place. And I like the one about there not being any place that one lady would rather be. I love “Heartbreak Dream” by Betty Who and “Show Me Love” by Robin S. not to be confused with “Show Me Love” by Robyn (also good though). I do not dance when I listen to these songs, but they are also good for listening to while you ride the subway or go to the post office. Nobody tells you that but it’s true.

This song is good like that too!

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’m out and about in NYC a whole bunch coming up, plus a few shows on the road!

3/17: Co-hosting Frankenstein’s Baby at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

3/19: Opening for Adam Cayton-Holland at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

3/20: Grisly Pear (Midtown)

3/25: Alphaville (Brooklyn)

3/27: Wrong Answers Only (Mobile, AL)

4/2: Freddy’s Backroom (Brooklyn)

4/3: Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me (Chicago)

4/4-4/5: The Comedy Attic (Bloomington, IN)

4/14: Benefit for Mike Dorval at Laugh Boston (Boston)

4/17: Seaport Museum (Manhattan), Bushwick Comedy Club (Brooklyn)

4/21: Co-hosting Frankenstein’s Baby at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

4/22: Co-Headlining Baruch PAC with Marina Franklin

4/23: GRIEFSTRIKE! Reading at Francis Kite (Manhattan)