#28. Recreational Competition Failures and You

Sometimes victory literally slips through your hands.

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the lateness of newsletter two weeks in a row! I once again spent my week split between picketing for the writers strike and traveling for standup. By Thursday on the picket line, my voice was completely blown out from shouting into a megaphone, but fortunately the great John Hodgman took over and led the chants in my place! Also fortunately, that was enough vocal rest to restore my voice for two very fun shows at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. (I’ll probably post a few little clips soon.) Thanks to everyone who came out to the shows, and to my openers Shane O’Connor, Jake Mattera, and Sarah Bell for killing it! (Also, we raised $474 for the Entertainment Community Fund with poster sales!)

Last week I voted YES on the SAG-AFTRA strike authorization as well, which they let me do because I am occasionally on television even though I am bad at acting. There is a possibility that I will be on double-strike in the near future, which sounds exhausting but also energizing in terms of what it could mean for getting fair contracts for both writers and performers!!! And, as long as we’re here, I’d like to shout out the BU students who chanted “PAY YOUR WRITERS!” at Warner Bros. CEO David Zaslav as he spoke at their commencement. It’s the greatest Boston chant since “Yankees suck!” in my humble opinion.

Even the color scheme screams: “This ice is Italian whether we admit it or not!”

While I was in Philly, my friend Kim Kelly who writes incredibly well about labor issues in articles and a book showed me around the Italian Market Festival (more on that later), and I tried Philadelphia delicacy (philadelicacy?) water ice for the first time. Water ice is a lot like Italian ice, in that it is exactly the same thing, and so it is delicious. The water ice pictured is lime, but what you can’t see is a scoop of cherry underneath for extra deliciousness.

This week there’s a big WGA rally at 30 Rock from 11am-2pm on Tuesday that I am emceeing! Anyone is welcome to attend and show support, even if you’re not a WGA member! (Later that night I anticipate running into every single person I know at the Pup/Beach Bunny/Pool Kids show, which is also open to non-WGA members as far as I know.)

See you there, New York City!

ALSO! I am sure you are all busy planning your Memorial Day Weekend activities right now (I know when I have a long weekend coming up, my vision of the future completely STOPS after the holiday Monday night). But! My shows in Cincinnati (5/31), Indianapolis (6/1), St. Louis (6/2-6/3), and Kansas City (6/4) are right around the corner! They’re next week even! If you’re thinking about coming, grab your tickets now or tell a friend to do that! I’d love to see you (and/or your friends) there!

PEP TALK FOR THE GUYS WHO FAILED TO CLIMB THE GREASY POLE IN PHILADELPHIA LAST WEEKEND

I learned over the weekend that a central feature of Philadelphia’s Italian Market Festival is the greased pole climbing competition, an event a simple in its conceit and clumsy in its execution as a cup and ball game or shower sex.

A pole (by my eyeballing, about 30 feet high) is greased with (actual) lard and then a bunch of (presumably Italian) guys and maybe women(?) try to climb it and snatch the prizes (meats, envelopes full of money) dangling from strings at the pole’s zenith. The joy of watching a bunch of dudes doggedly ascend the slippery obelisk by piling atop one another is only matched by the absolute exhilaration of all those motherfuckers tumbling back to the ground. And to those fallen climbers, I’d like to offer a word of encouragement.

Gentlemen (and presumably some enterprising women), you gave it your all. You risked public humiliation and bodily harm for the sake of a few dozen dollars worth of pork products, and enough money to buy an off-brand flat screen television. You didn’t achieve your goal, nor did you come particularly close. It was like watching Sisyphus on his first day at his boulder-pushing gig, except even Sisyphus didn’t end up with his clothes absolutely slathered in rendered pig fat.

Take heart in this, you weird gross adventurers: The thing you failed at, like many things we fail at but even more so, does not matter at all. It is not a skill you need to live a happy life. It is not adjacent to any necessary skills. It is less of a substantial defeat than losing at mini-golf, because people outside of Philadelphia are aware of mini-golf and sometimes play it in their own cities and towns. This slippery pole business is such a local pursuit that I barely believed it to be real until I saw an anthill of burly dudes tumble to the street after shinnying 15 feet off the ground. Failing at something this nonsensical is almost beautiful because it exists in its own cultural vacuum and is not a referendum on any meaningful part of your character or ability.

So grab a cheesesteak (or, if Philadelphia law permits it…and I’m not sure it does…a vegetable) and restore your energy. This week you will return to your regular life, and even if you’re expected to climb something for some unforeseen reason, it is wildly unlikely that it will be covered in lard.

PEP TALKS FOR READERS

Per usual, I’ve fiddled with the formatting of this request just a bit for clarity and made up the nickname myself, but I didn’t change the gist of the message, I swear.

Hi Josh, I'm a creator on the leftist side of youtube, I talk about things like ridiculous GOP politicians, toxic masculinity, and conservative grifters. My channel is comedy first, but all my mutuals tend to do more "serious" content. I’m afraid that I will never been seen as a peer by them or by audiences because I come off "like a clown" and this is setting off my imposter syndrome something fierce. I could really use a pep talk to help in not feeling like I'm less than because I’m not more "serious.”
- Feeling Left(ist) Out

This writer touches on something I think about all the time: Isn’t it the dream to be adored for who we aren’t? Who doesn’t want to skip straight to the thrill of being loved without exposing one’s self to the mortifying ordeal of being known? I would enjoy nothing more than receiving praise for how tall and mysterious and good at dancing I am. Sadly, I am medium, unnervingly straightforward, and unable to execute any choreography more demanding than The Macarena. When people like me, it is almost always for the qualities I actually have (or because I reminded them facially of David Wain or Craig Finn).

What I mean to say is, you can worry about being taken “seriously” or you can appreciate the people who understand and enjoy what you actually do! There’s real value to presenting compelling and complex topics in a lighthearted, enjoyable way. It has a different resonance than doing scholarly work on the same subject, but it’s still extremely worthwhile. (Of course having written for years for a tv show that did exactly that…of course I would say it’s a good thing to do.)

Also, if you’ll allow me to grind a personal axe for a moment: Goofin’ around doesn’t get the respect it deserves in lots of different venues. I legitimately believe that Sacha Baron Cohen’s performance in Borat is as impressive as any Oscar-winning acting I’ve seen this century. And he didn’t wasn’t even nominated! Meanwhile this year Austin Butler got a nomination this year for his months-long performance art project of pretending to be Elvis, an impression that everyone’s dad can do at a respectable B- level. Come on!

The point I am derailing myself from making is: There’s always going to be someone who doesn’t get you, but ultimately it’s a gift to be seen and appreciated for what you do. And it’s okay that people don’t mention you in the same breath as colleagues who do a different thing from you. If you want to be known for something different, you can always do that other thing. In the meantime though, it’s okay to accept that your work can be special and meaningful even if it doesn’t get you a seat at the Serious Thinkers Table. It doesn’t seem like that fun a place to hang out anyway!

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Oceanator - “Heartbeat”

I am sadly going to miss Oceantor’s upcoming show in New York because I’ll be on the road! But fortunately I can listen to “Heartbeat,” a perfect summertime song, wherever I am! It’s a song about feeling found and feeling good, and it’s also about a wildly propulsive guitar riff! This is the kind of song I always want more of!!! Thank goodness there is this one, and the repeat function on Apple Music.

A FEW OTHER LITTLE THINGS I’VE DONE LATELY

I had a lovely chat with Abby Olcese about my upcoming Kansas City show! Plus I was in a little video made by Senator Bernie Sanders’s staff and one taken by More Perfect Union at a picket where Rep. Maxwell Frost spoke and I got to introduce him!

UPCOMING TOUR DATES

I’m getting started on the second leg of my 1900s Kid Tour, and the first few dates are listed here! The rest of them so far are of course on my website!

5/31 - The Comet in Cincinnati

6/1 - Helium Comedy Club in Indianapolis

6/2-6/3 - Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis

6/4 - The Comedy Club in Kansas City