#30. Several Television Shows and You

There was monsters on the world.

Hi Everyone,

Last week I drove through the lower Midwest, doing shows to really terrific audiences, working with hilarious friends like Cy Amundson and DeAnne Smith, and eating regional foods like St. Louis’s weird flat pizza. The crust is very crunchy, and the slices are all non-standard shapes and sizes, which makes it hard to know how many to eat. Overall, it felt kind of like consuming a jigsaw puzzle, but in a good way.

The pizza was exactly as thick as this picture of it.

I also went to the St. Louis Art Museum, which is pretty expansive, considering you don’t have to pay to get in. An art museum (especially a free one) is the perfect activity on the road because you get a little walking around in, and you see a bunch of interesting stuff, and you can leave at any time while still counting it as self-improvement.

Don’t they know how Pablo-matic this is????

And, all this week onstage had a very fun time talking about Al Pacino’s upcoming baby. Here’s a little clip of that! (Sorry for the sound quality!!!)

A FEW QUICK SHOW ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!

• This week I’m opening for my friend Natasha Vaynblat’s album recording at Union Hall in Brooklyn. Natasha is SO funny, and I can’t wait to watch her do a long set! Come by and enjoy the show, New Yorkers!

• LOS ANGELES!!! People have been asking about a headlining show in L.A., and it’s happening!!! I’ll be at Dynasty Typewriter on 7/14!!! Let’s sell this bad boy out!!!

• Back at Union Hall in Brooklyn, I’m doing another What’s New? show with some special guests to be announced on 7/9. It’s an early (5:30pm) show, so you can come and enjoy some jokes before dinner!

• I’ll be in Dallas (6/23-6/24) and Oklahoma City (6/21) later in June! Tickets are available on my website!!! (I’m also going to be a guest on the live Normal Gossip show in Boston on 6/20 but that’s sold out.)

PEP TALKS FOR SEVERAL TV SHOWS I’VE WATCHED RECENTLY

I’ve referenced the Writers Guild of America strike a few times in this newsletter, but one thing I haven’t mentioned is that in the spirit of the strike I’ve been trying not to promote work that was done for/by companies we’re striking against. However, I haven’t taken the step of not watching any tv/movies at all, and my opinions on these things are just swimming around in my head. In an effort to shake these stray thoughts loose and stop them from clanking around in my brain indefinitely, I will write them down here, heavily redacted, so as not to promote struck companies.

• I really, really loved the new season of [REDACTED]. It made me laugh like when I was a kid listening to Adam Sandler’s comedy albums with my friends in the woods so grownups wouldn’t hear how dirty they were.

• The performances on the recent season of [REDACTED] were so good, especially [REDACTED], and I loved the addition of [REDACTED] to the cast. I know it was divisive, but I did like the action that took place in [REDACTED] more than the stuff from [REDACTED].

• I’ve never really gotten into [REDACTED], but I admire that it ended in a way that its fans felt satisfied by.

• It’s outrageous to me how underrated [REDACTED] is. It’s so funny and incisive without being cruel to its characters. I realize that redacting the name of the show will not help it become less underrated, but that’s where we are in this moment.

• [REDACTED]’s new standup special is so funny and sharp and silly! I think their standup keeps getting better over time, which is super cool and inspiring to see.

• I can’t wait for the return of [REDACTED] next month. I wish there were twice as many episodes each year!!! I love spending time with the whole cast of weirdos every week while it’s on! (Also same for [REDACTED] and [REDACTED], two shows on opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of spectacle, but both of which, along with this first show, should get more awards consideration!)

• I have enjoyed learning about the cultural resonance of [REDACTED], a show I have never watched and likely will never watch. I also can’t believe that the villain has grown to look so villainous over time. That facial hair is NOT getting him any sympathy.

• I didn’t love [REDACTED] as much as some people, but I found it a technical marvel and I wish they’d let the seams show a little more throughout the series!

• It has been so flattering to hear how much people enjoyed the ending of [REDACTED] which I worked on last year. The table read for the series finale so funny and touching and memorable! It was a thrill to be a tiny part of this big thing that people loved so much.

(Feel free to speculate about any of these reviews in the comments.)

PEP TALKS FOR READERS

I’ve made some little tweaks to the messages from readers, as is my custom, and I’ve occasionally applied my own nicknames to them.

Hi, Josh! I recently applied to two job positions that would have been promotions. I interviewed for one but in the end I was rejected for both jobs. I know I can try again in a year or two but it feels like a setback, and I could use some encouraging words. I’m also waiting to hear back on a promotion for my second job (yep, have two jobs) and the waiting is nerve wracking.  Anyhow, I realize I’m a fortunate person to have these jobs which are both careers for me, but I’ve been in the same place for a while and was looking forward to learning something new and taking a new step.
- Job-ba the Hurt (SORRY!!!)

Job-ba (sorry again)!!! I relate so deeply to your impulse to qualify that you are lucky to be in the position you are in, even though it’s not ideal for your needs. But also, you have been profoundly unlucky lately, and it’s okay to stomp around and shout into a pillow and listen to whatever your wallowing soundtrack of choice is for a bit before returning to a general sense of gratitude and equilibrium.

Of course you want to learn and grow! You are a human being! You spend so much of your time at work, more than most people even, it sounds like. And you want your days to be full of meaning and adventure OR AT THE VERY LEAST novelty and improvement. Even when you have a rich and varied life outside of work, there’s only so long you can go clocking in for 8+ hours of another yesterday you have to live through all over again.

Obviously there are many ways to stretch and grow outside of work. And obviously like you said these opportunities will come around again in the future. But for now, you deserve a brief interval of grumpiness, if that helps. Personally, my rubric for enjoying a good complain is when I’ve already voiced it enthusiastically to several people, and eventually someone asks how I’m doing and I don’t feel like getting into it so I’m like: “Fine, thanks! How are you?” Then I know I’m ready to stop scratching the bug bite of discontent and let it heal on its own.

These setbacks are frustrating, but they’re not the end of your professional life. Nor do they preclude you from growing and enjoying the world outside your workplace in the meantime. You are more than your work, and you are specifically more than these two jobs even if in aggregate they consume a lot of your attention. I can’t imagine they pay you enough to also live rent-free in your head!!!

Hi Josh - I could use a pep talk in your newsletter. I recently divorced my husband after 25 years and I'm still trying to overcome all my bad habits I developed during my marriage, like hiding in my room all day to avoid interacting with him or angering him. I need to be more active and healthy, but I've spent over a decade being anxious and afraid. I'm much happier now that I finally kicked him out.  And yes, I am in therapy. :) But it's so hard to find motivation to be active or to even remember that I can do whatever I want whenever I want - maybe a pep talk can help!
- Whatever, Whenever

I’m a teacher getting out of teaching. My last job teaching emotionally traumatized kids left me scarred and I need a new start. I have taught for 8 years and I don’t know what to do next.
- School’s Out…Forever?

I know these two people are writing from vastly different experiences, but I found myself wanting to say the same thing to both: You’ve been through something extremely difficult, and because of that you may be doubting that you’re capable of the things you dream of accomplishing personally or professionally. It sounds like you both aren’t quite sure what you want to come next.

In both of your cases, the future is not defined by the past! Life isn’t a neatly scripted movie where each action precipitates the next! With the help of therapy and time, you can do kind of whatever you want. And that’s a tricky feeling sometimes because if we can do anything, why haven’t we? There are good reasons for not having started on your limitless futures yet. (Catching up on old issues of The New Yorker, had a cold, stuck in traffic, recovering from terrible recent experiences, etc.) But you can start at any time. Maybe you’re not ready now, but you’ll get there, and in the meantime you’ll be doing things too! You’re not just frozen in amber waiting for life to start. You’re charging up like an anime character (I think they do that?) until you’re strong enough to forge ahead! You’ve got this! Or you will have this before too long!

I’d really like a pep-talk for putting myself out there on the online dating scene after a decade of being alone and not really knowing what I’m doing. I’m a fat, disabled, bisexual, polyamorous, trans man, and every one of those details is something that can attract varying degrees of negativity from strangers or simply be a dealbreaker for some folks. 

I’m scared that I’ll either get silence or just get mean or intrusive messages, or even if I do meet someone that I’ll mess it up and hurt them. 

I’ve kept myself alone this long out of fear of getting hurt. I don’t want to be holding myself back from finding companionship and connection anymore, but it’s been so long and I’ve changed so much in that time that I feel like I’m starting from scratch. 

I’ve done great therapy work over recent years and I’m feeling more grounded and like my true self than ever, but I’d love some encouragement for gently letting go of the fear that my true self isn’t going to be desirable to anyone. 
- New Fear, New Me

Love is tricky, because in some ways it is better than Doritos, and in other ways it is worse. It’s worse than Doritos in that you can get Doritos whenever you want, wherever you want, and they will always be basically the same quality. People love to look down their nose at processed foods, but I’ve never had to sniff a bag of Doritos to see if it’s gone bad. You crack it open and get a perfect, predictable Dorito experience every time.

The downside to Doritos is, they’ll only ever be Doritos. They don’t grow into anything more (thanks in part to preservatives), and they never surprise you in exciting or pleasurable ways. Love, unlike Doritos, can be as rewarding as it is unpredictable.

What I intended this analogy to signify when I started writing it down (and maybe it got there who can say) is that if you want to experience something exciting that relies on other people’s subjectivity, there’s going to be a little risk involved. Lots of people probably won’t fall in love with you. But guess what? You probably won’t be in love with most people either! Maybe you’ll hurt people you care about. But maybe you’ll run over a rabbit anytime you get behind the wheel of a car (or while riding in one as a passenger). Bad things can always happen!!!!

The inverse of that is also true though. Good things can always happen. Well, not always! They are waaaaay more likely to happen when you open yourself up to them. Even when you live your life in a defensive crouch, you’re not invulnerable to tragedy. But if you do that, you’re probably walling yourself off from joy. If you look far enough down the road, everything good ends in heartbreak or death, the sea levels rise, and the sun burns out. Shit! Come back! I know that sounds bleak, but the important thing is that you are capable of seeking out thrilling experiences and enjoying them for as long as they last. Not everything is good, and nothing good is forever, but until you allow yourself to experience onto the good time/long time continuum, you’ll never know how nice things can be for intervals at least.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Pkew Pkew Pkew - “Fresh Pope”

I have been very into Pkew Pkew Pkew for the past year, especially their album Optimal Lifestyles. While I was driving through the Midwest, I decided to throw their new record on, and I laughed out loud when this song started. If you are a religious Catholic person, you may be a little taken aback by the casual attitude towards the papacy, but otherwise, I welcome you to enjoy this 90ish-second song whose vibe is “The (Altar) Boys Are Back In Town.”

UPCOMING TOUR DATES

I’m in the middle of the second leg of my 1900s Kid Tour, and the first few dates are listed here! The rest of them so far are of course on my website!

6/7 - Natasha Vaynblat Album Recording at Union Hall in Brooklyn

6/21 - Bricktown Comedy Club in Oklahoma City

6/23-6/24 - Dallas Comedy Club (four shows)

7/9 - What’s New? at Union Hall in Brooklyn

7/14 - Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles