#41. The Compliment Hall of Fame

I'm really letting you all drive the car this week.

Hi everyone,

I spent the weekend at a wedding (Congratulations to Ethan and Willa!!!) hanging out with friends from college. I had a great time, but because the wedding was in northern Minnesota, a lot of the weekend was spent flying to/from Minneapolis and driving the four hours to/from the summer camp where the wedding was held. Fortunately, my wife and I enjoyed the drives very much as well, singing along to pre-created playlists, stopping to eat weird salads at roadside restaurants, and pointing at various statues of Paul Bunyan. I came up with a bit (generous term for this) where Paul Bunyan would call his big blue ox Babe “babe” but like the ox was his girlfriend. (“Babe, check it out, babe. I’m using this whole tree as a toothpick.”) Mercifully, I got tired of this bit only shortly after my wife did.

“Babe, check it out, babe. I’m wearing the roof of a house as a hat!”

This week I’m home in New York, and I’ll be telling jokes around town!

TUESDAY: Molly Ruben-Long and Friends at Union Hall
WEDNESDAY: Pizzazz with Gary Gulman at Union Hall
THURSDAY: The Real Teacher’s Union at Caveat

Coming up I’m in Detroit (9/8-9/9) and then back to the Twin Cities (well, one of them) doing shows at Laugh Camp in St. Paul!!! Come see me if you’re nearby!

HALL OF FAME COMPLIMENTS SUBMITTED BY READERS

Last week I had the privilege of emceeing the rally portion of the Flight Attendants Solidarity Picket with the WGA and SAG-AFTRA, and it was a super heartening experience. All the speakers (flight attendants, politicians, union leaders) were really inspiring, and Sara Nelson (president of AFA-CWA) gave an especially energizing speech. After the rally, Rep. Ro Khanna of California, who had spoken at the rally as well, very kindly told me that I had done a nice job and could have a future outside of comedy someday. I said, and I quote: “God, I hope not.” Still, I appreciate that he was being nice!

This conversation got me thinking about what kind of compliments people hold close to them, the ones they return to for solace on bad days and aspire to live up to on good ones. So I put out a request on social media for people to share some of the best compliments they’ve ever received. I will be back to writing longer pep talks next week (I have a little backlog of requests! Sorry about that!), but after a full weekend of travel, I’m letting you all do the heavy lifting today.

Some of these have been lightly condensed, and I still didn’t have space for all of the great responses I got. You know the drill.

COMPLIMENTS OF CHARACTER

My brother once said to me, “You make people believe in their own possibilities,” and honestly that is my favorite compliment ever, however ill-deserved.

Did a little college reunion this weekend with some buddies and one of them said to me, very sincerely, “I’m really happy to see you so happy,” and man if that’s not the best thing anyone could ever say to someone.

“A lot of people use humor to cut other people down, but I appreciate that you always use humor as a way to invite people in.”

My favorite is “You are not at all what I expected you would be like.” And it was earnest and true. Live to defy expectations and also makes me check my own.

A few months ago I was at Books Are Magic and the clerk said, “I love your whole vibe. You look like you’re the main character.” That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be!!!

I enjoy the time I was told, "Jenn is what happens when you mix Jessica Rabbit, Murphy Brown, and whoever's holding the bullhorn at the protest."

The best compliment I have ever received came from the young man who is now my son-in-law. There had much conversation, about family dynamics and friendships, and general talk about how things happen in life and relationships. Maybe an extra dash of how I see things, or do things, or influence things. And he said to me, with nearly imperceptible awe, “You know Catherine, born at the wrong time, you’d have been burned as a witch.” It is the most beautifully insightful and deeply accurate thing anyone has ever said about me.

My 9th grade PE teacher randomly called me over to sit down next to him during class. His wife had just given birth to a little girl and he told me that he hoped she would grow up to be just like me. I was stunned speechless. “Ok, that’s it,” he said and sent me off again.

My best compliment: When my youngest daughter was in middle school she read “To Kill A Mockingbird.” After she read it she said “You’re just like Atticus Finch.” That’s maybe the nicest thing you can say to a lawyer.

These are all so beautiful, and I am glad to know “You remind me of Atticus Finch!” is still a meaningful compliment for at least some lawyers and not just a hack thing to say to them, like when people tell comedians they should tryin getting on Saturday Night Live. (If you have done that, stop it!)

PHYSICAL COMPLIMENTS (NON-CREEPY)

My professor was giving me public speaking advice and said: “You have great eyebrows. Use them!”

“A lot of people have shitty tattoos, but yours aren’t shitty.”

“You look like a character in a Wes Anderson film” -random bartender in Flagstaff. And another personal favorite: “You look like Velma got a glow up”- random guy on the street in Capitol Hill

I’m a standardized patient - I work with med students. Very often during cardiac ultrasound practice they tell me what a lovely aorta I have. I don’t see why they would lie about such a thing.

Once I walked by a group of men in NYC and they all looked at me, and there was a beat and then one of them said: “I’m starting to like these Tina Fey lookin’ bitches.”

My gynecologist told me that I have a beautiful cervix. Then I told my next gynecologist what the previous gynecologist had said about my cervix, and she affirmed that yes, my cervix is beautiful. I've got a chain going of four or five nether-regions specialists who all agree. I trust my doctors.

Congratulations to you all on your cervixes, aortas, eyebrows, and tattoos!

COMPLIMENTS ABOUT TALENT

A few years ago, when I was very young and my cousin was not very generous with compliments, he told me he thought I should be a college professor. People in my family (especially women) didn’t have a lot of access to higher education until my and my cousin’s generation, so it meant a lot.

My favorite compliment that I've received is that I'm "highly-dimensioned." This came from my boss's boss, upon learning about my assortment of hobbies—appearing on game shows, traveling the world, being a musician, etc.

Someone I briefly dated years ago was studying to be an accountant. He asked me how I did my taxes, and I said I did them myself, and he goes: “Yeah, you seem like you’d be really good at doing your own taxes.”

Best compliment I ever received, I was driving with my then girlfriend and she said "You drive like Batman.” It makes it sound like I drive kind of unsafe but I don't think so.

I was told that I was a god-tier parallel parker, and I will ride that high till the end of my life.

Best compliment I ever received? Guy got up on a stage and started talking about a poem he'd just written. Then he read my poem from my book. I was so flattered at the theft I didn't even hold or confront him. I just congratulated him on the awesome poem. Nobody steals things that aren't valuable.

My wife was at a wedding where the groom and some of his friends were trained clowns and after she had been dancing for a while the wife of one of the clowns said "I was certain you were one of the clowns!" and she was PSYCHED.

It’s like they always say: Clown recognize clown.

SPECIFICALLY MUSICAL COMPLIMENTS

A Scottish mezzo-soprano once exclaimed to me, "Och, you're a wee tweety bird!" after hearing me sing very high. Also there was a CSO patron who twice, verbatim and like two years apart, called me a "silver-tongued, golden-throated smooth-talking devil".

I was singing along with the music at the pub the other night, and a dude said: "Wow, you have a really nice voice. I even put down my phone!"

While stuck in heavy traffic in Inman Square on my way back to a work after having a stressful medical procedure done back in 2014 and singing at the top of my lungs to Radiohead's Creep with my windows down, a young man (in I'd guess his late teens) was riding his bike near me while we were in some serious traffic. When the song was over, he knocked on my car door and poked his head in asking who the song was by. He'd never heard of Radiohead before (said he was more into rap and funk) but loved the song. He then told me that he loved my voice - that it was very powerful and emotionally connected to the music and that I should sing in a band. I told him I had been having a rather horrible week and that he really brightened my day. He said same, thanked me for introducing him to some new music, and then pedaled away.

There is nothing like getting a professional grade compliment on something you don’t do professionally, and putting someone on to a band with your amateur singing might be the highest form of that!!! The absolute apex of “oh…this old thing…”

PROFESSIONAL COMPLIMENTS

“You weren’t annoying AT ALL! Thank you so much!” - one of my grooms after I shot his wedding (Hire Meghan, who is not annoying, to shoot your wedding!!!)

I work in the service/hospitality industry and last year during my yearly review my boss told me I am able to make quick connections with people in a way he's never seen before. (I work at a brewery with counter service so ordering process is quick and customer interactions are often brief). It made me feel good.

“You’re so competent!” - former boss of mine

For four years, I spent my weekends as a tour guide at Fenway Park. Such a fun gig, with incredible people and visitors from all over. While thanking me at the end of one particular tour, an older gentleman noted that he was a die-hard Yankees fan - and asked whether I would be open to being traded to the tour guide team at Yankee Stadium. I responded that my family would disown me and I’d hate myself, but I was absolutely honored to receive such a compliment.

When I worked in daycare, a 4-year-old told me I was very good at wiping bums.

There are many different ways to be good at and take pride in your work.

COMPLIMENTS FROM CELEBRITIES

I ran into Jackie Mason at Canters after a show and I was so nervous I went into ultra-schtick-y mode and he stopped me and said, “Kid, you don’t have to be so hilarious” and I literally thought, ok, I can die now, and I probably should because how much better can it get than that?

Doing an improv show in NYC. Chita Rivera just got out of a show next to ours and peeked in for a bit at the end. I was on stage doing a musical game. When we were walking out, she was in the lobby and said “You were fabulous. Now I have to go pee.” I’ll never forget it.

I was once in a play reading at a local theater in CT that actor James Noble attended. Since I was a kid, I was obsessed with his reading of one line in Faerie Tale Theatre. He came up to me afterwards and said he enjoyed my performance. Nothing special, but validation from someone I’d admired from such a young age is a high I’ve been riding for well over a decade.

I told Jon Stewart he changed my life, after I had a dream job working on a show he EP’d. He replied: “Thank you, but no. You changed your own life. If was you - your tenacity, talent & creativity. You did changed your life, not me.” One of the best days of my life. [blushing/smiling emoji]

When I was at The White House in 2010, I cracked a joke and Michelle Obama, threw her head back in laughter and said, "Oh, you are funny," and put one hand on my forearm and the other one on my back. I like how this works as a compliment and a humblebrag.

I bet Michelle Obama and Jon Stewart both really sell a compliment too. Not like…too hard, but just enough oomph so it feels like they really mean it.

COMPLIMENTS THAT MIGHT SECRETLY BE INSULTS

A lady at the dog park complimented my bright orange sweater and then said: “That’s the color monks wear…because it’s so loud it dissipates the ego.”

At high school graduation, a classmate told me that she was sorry for making fun of me in middle school, “but it was hard, because you used to read the dictionary during lunch.” She is a lovely human being. Middle school just sucks, but the people who survive it largely don’t.

This one is kind of hilarious: I’m an ugly dude so as a joke I went to one of those open modeling calls. Like a ton of chiseled dudes & gorgeous girls & my dopey ass taking it all in. When I got called the panel just kind of stared at me, and then one of them said, “I like the height?”

Oof! But honestly, I feel like height has gotten a lot of guys a lot of places! Hang onto that!

If you’ve got good compliments you’ve been sitting one, leave ‘em in the comments!

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
Whitney Houston - “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”

I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” is the all-time best wedding party song. It’s like a cheat code for kicking the party into a higher gear. Every human being reacts to this song like how in the second Weekend At Bernie’s movie, there’s a song that makes Bernie (a dead guy) get up and dance. (I haven’t seen this movie, but enough people have told me about it that I think this is an actual thing that happens.) You cannot miss with “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” Whitney Houston is great, obviously. The song is literally about dancing, which gets people in the mood. It’s got everything working for it.

When I was in college, some friends who lived down the street had the “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” single, and when they had friends over they’d play instrumental version, which still had the background singers going “DANCE!” occasionally. I didn’t include that version here, but you can imagine how much much fun it was to shout “DANCE!” along with them. If you’re a wedding DJ who doesn’t know about this song, first of all…how did you get that job? Second of all, now you do, and you’re welcome. Use it responsibly, or just go wild with it. Don’t let me tell you how to live your life.

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’m booking a few shows for later this fall, and I’m around doing set in New York (check out my website for details) but here’s where I’ll be on the road in the near future!

8/31 - Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me in Ann Arbor (sold out!!!)

9/8-9/9 - House of Comedy Detroit

9/29-9/30 - Laugh Camp St. Paul (several shows!!!)