#49. Politically Engaged Brands and You

Let's try and find a sliver of hopefulness.

Hi everyone,

I’m sorry to do it, but I’m going to be not a lot of fun for a couple of paragraphs. Then we’ll try to pivot back to having a nice time together. Cool? Cool.

If you’ve encountered a newspaper or social media post or television broadcast or overheard conversation this week, you’ve probably been deluged by coverage of violence. I’ve been feeling a lot of sorrow about all the brutality, as I imagine many of you have too, and I’ve been seeking out a lot of offline conversation to process the whole situation in a healthier environment. I’ve also been looking for writing that both informs my perspective and most closely aligns my feelings. Two of the most sensible and helpful pieces I read were David Klion’s writing in n+1 and Arielle Angel’s work in Jewish Currents.

What strikes me in both pieces of writing is the compassion around all the loss and devastation paired with forceful political analysis. More specifically, I find it very moving to see Jews in America meet last week’s horror with calls for peace and deescalation, at a time while so many people have been cheering for brutal violence against the people living in Gaza. While this situation may be politically complex, it is morally clear. The safety and freedom of Jewish people does not and cannot entail violence against or oppression of Palestinians, who themselves deserve safety and freedom. So, while there are so many people of different backgrounds (including many Palestinians, of course) speaking up on this issue, I appreciate the Jews who are standing up against war, even and especially during times of mourning.

NOW ON TO THE USUAL STUFF, I GUESS?

Thanks to everyone who came to a (SOLD OUT!) What’s New? show at Union Hall on Friday. It was such a good time, and all the guests were so wonderful. Also, Mark Little, Katrina Davis, and Joan Glackin who killed it at my show are in New York and are people you should see (and book if you book shows)! I assume you all know that

Myq Kaplan

is great and similarly present in New York City. Will Miles and and Nour Hadidi are also wonderful but live in LA and Toronto respectively!

Katrina, Joan, Will, Myq, Nour, and Mark from last weekend's What's New? show at Union Hall! Just look at 'em!

This week I’m telling some jokes at the long-running Butter Boy show in Brooklyn on Monday night! Tuesday I’m doing a show with my friend Donwill at a venue in Brooklyn called Bierworks! And then on Saturday afternoon at Caveat in Manhattan, I’m a guest solver on Zach Sherwin’s amazing Crossword Show! I rave about the show to anyone who will listen. Zach is a genius, and the show is extremely fun and unique to both see and be a part of. I truly couldn’t recommend it more, and I feel that way even about the iterations I’m not a part of!!! (Zach is on tour with the show now.)

My only road date currently set up this year is in Pittsburgh back at Bottle Rocket, a venue I love! It’s not that big and I’m only doing one show, so grab your tickets now if you’re thinking about coming through!

PEP TALK FOR BRANDS

Okay I photoshopped this, but you get it.

In times of political and moral crisis, we for some reason turn to brands as beacons of righteousness. “Your silence will not be forgotten!” we shout at them, even though we would absolutely not remember if Best Buy neglected to release a statement on the overturning of Roe v. Wade. (Do you remember whether they did? I certainly don’t!)

Brands, I am sorry we do this. We are adrift and bereft and in many cases do not expect our political systems to rise to the occasion in difficult times. It is unfair of us to ask you to fill that moral void. What do we even expect you to say? “At the Olive Garden, we like to say that when you’re here, you’re family. But at America’s southern border, families are being torn apart. So for the month of October, all unaccompanied minors get free unlimited breadsticks.” (I guess that’s more than Eric Adams is doing for migrants in New York.)

It is not up to Pizza Hut to create long-lasting peace in regions of conflict by declaring a Demilitarized P’zone. Nor do we want Little Caesars to change their Instagram display name to Little Ceasefires as a show of solidarity. These things are not helpful unless the companies behind them take action to stand up for those avowed principles, and most companies aren’t going to do that. And that’s because a lot of them have bad politics.

It’s frankly unreasonable to ask billion dollar corporations to be politically outspoken, when so many of them are founded on destructive business practices, and many of their owners see the world in straight up horrifying ways. Imagine pushing for a response during a political crisis only to be told: “At Burger King, you can have it your way, but if the American people had it their way, Donald J. Trump would still be president. Sure we serve the Impossible(TM) Whopper, but the real impossible whopper is that Hillary Clinton wasn’t aware of that private email server.” I have no idea what the Burger King believes, but I have no reason to trust that a monarch with a face frozen in self-satisfied rictus shares my position on any significant issue.

You, brands, do not exist to perpetuate justice. You cannot be held accountable to our political opinions. You often barely provide the services we pay you money for, and even more rarely than that do you provide any useful form of customer service. So please, don’t worry about it. Just try not to commit any human rights abuses while you’re making your jeans or laptops, and minimize the extent to which you warm Earth’s climate. In exchange, we’ll stop asking you to have a cogent opinion on criminal justice reform. Except Ben and Jerry. You’re still on the hook to be right about things. Don’t fuck this up.

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I’ve once again taken out a couple of (much appreciated) kind words from the pep talk requester, because it makes me uncomfortable to share them for reasons I shall not be interrogating. Let’s do this!

Hi, Josh! I have reached middle age and realized that a) I don't like myself very much; b) I never really have; c) I am tired of feeling this way. The thing is, I don't know how to change it.

I know I'm not a bad person. I don't know what value I bring to the universe, you know? I don't know what sort of positive effect I could possibly be adding to the world. I do my best; I'm a librarian, and spend my workdays helping folks with all kinds of things, and genuinely enjoy it. I try to be kind, and to be a good friend. I'm polite and friendly and treat other people well. But at best, I assume that I'm awkward and boring and that people tolerate me rather than genuinely liking me. I have a few close friends -- -maybe a half dozen online ones. but no local, IRL friends. I am happily married. I am in therapy, which is helping some! My father was verbally and emotionally abusive, and that has left some scars that I'm working on. But still, I just... don't know how to start liking myself. Or at least being nicer to myself.

Does this make sense? Any advice? Do we all just feel like that?

— Eh, I Guess I'm Tolerable

Eh! In accordance with my general policy (of being a dumbass), I don’t have a ton of advice for you, but maybe I have some comforting words. You are not alone in feeling inadequate sometimes. Many people have similar doubts from time to time. Usually, though, the stuff you’re insecure about is not even noticeable to other people. For example, I have two stubby little teeth near the front of my mouth because I never had braces, and instead my orthodontist just filed two of my teeth down shorter so they made more sense where they were in my face. I have never heard of this procedure before or since, and I think about it every time I see myself smiling in a picture. The amount of people who have mentioned it to me, lifetime, is zero. None. Not only has no one ever made fun of me for this (to my weird-toothed face, but what a silly thing it would be to talk about behind my back), no one has ever remarked on it in any capacity. Other people are not constantly probing you for weaknesses the way you do to yourself. Why would they? It’s time-consuming and has so few benefits!

The other thing that might bring you some comfort is that even if you are as dull as my tooth stumps (which I doubt) that’s not your problem! That’s for other people to deal with! We all have things about us that rub other people the wrong way, and most of the time we either don’t hang with those people or we suck it up and deal with it because the juice (friendship) is worth the squeeze (someone who keeps telling you stories about people you’ve never met as if you also know them well, let’s say).

You know how when you’re kids, sometimes someone in the neighborhood will have a pool or a sick video game system or parents who let you watch Rated-R movies even though you’re like nine years old? And so even though they never shared their snacks or their older brother was always trying to alpha-dog you for some reason, you’d still go over to their house because other aspects of the experience were fun?

That’s being a grownup too. Even if there are people who don’t love EVERYTHING about you, the rest of the personality (niceness, helpfulness, knowledge of books) is the Playstation that makes you worthwhile. (And if people don’t like ANYTHING about you, then that’s their own thing, and you don’t have to waste your time on them, and they should just not agree to hang out.)

I bet you have a great swimming pool of friendship to offer, if you could build up the courage to invite people over to play Marco Polo or a different game with less imperialist overtones! And even if on some days the water is just fine, that’s also fine!

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Ben Folds - “Gone”

Ben Folds Five was, for reasons I can’t quite pinpoint, a very important group to me when I was in high school. Folds’s first solo album aka Ben Folds One came out on September 11th (along with Jay-Z’s Blueprint and several other notable releases), which is a bit of trivia that I will share probably too energetically whenever it comes up.

Once or twice a year I will become seized with a compulsion to listen to Ben Folds Six (the solo and full-band music all jumbled up) for a solid few days. Last week was one such week. Ben Folds’s most famous song is about what a friggin’ drag it was when his girlfriend got an abortion, and “Gone” is about feeling weighted down by someone’s absence, which is equally emotionally charged but doesn’t pin that feeling on someone else who just needs some Advil and ice cream.

“Gone” is also a little less ornate and conceptual and ironic than a lot of Ben Folds music and sounds (to my layperson ear) a little like Piano Weezer. I’ve listened to it on repeat a lot in part out of a sense of comfort at enjoying from my past I haven’t experienced in a while. Maybe you’ll feel cozy in it too.

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’m mostly doing shows around New York City for the next month! More on my website!

10/16: Butter Boy at Littlefield (Brooklyn)

10/17: Bierworks (Brooklyn)

10/21: 4PM SHOW The Crossword Show at Caveat (NYC)

11/18: Bottle Rocket (Pittsburgh)