#69. The Sad Oompa Loompa and You

What do you get when you're caught in a scam/Using AI to fake a candyman?

Hi everyone,

I’ve had a busy and fun week since we (well, I) last spoke! Thanks to everyone in the Twin Cities who came out to my shows at Laugh Camp. They were a blast! And thanks again to Hamilton Nolan for having me at his Brooklyn book launch for The Hammer. I finished the book just before we chatted onstage, and it made me feel like I could run through a damn brick wall. I teared up at every single chapter thinking about how much good people can do for each other when we work together.

Yes, that is THE sweater!

Reading Hamilton’s book (smart/righteous and fascinating) and seeing Cole Escola’s play (silly/absurd and fascinating) within a week of each other made me think really hard about how much I love work that is ambitiously smart (obviously good) as well as stuff that is ambitiously dumb (often overlooked). New York Magazine famously publishes its Approval Matrix that evaluates culture along axes of Highbrow-to-Lowbrow and Brilliant-to-Despicable, and the older I get the more I think Lowbrow/Brilliant is such a special, important kind of art (and the more I’m annoyed by work that is Highbrow/Despicable). And, I find that a lot of stuff shoots for being 10% more Highbrow (or sometimes 10% more Lowbrow) when it should really just be 10% more Brilliant, which is harder work but more worthwhile. Generally, I blame the corporate forces that drive art towards being Despicable because that’s what gets attention. I also think that sometimes we (or maybe just I again) evaluate art as the thing we want it to be rather than the thing it is. (Is Saltburn a flimsy class satire or is it an impeccably executed film about a guy who has sex with a muddy gravesite?)

It’s so wonderful to experience culture that gets to become the thing it’s best suited to be, or to start by meeting a piece of work on its terms! Like, have you ever tried to unscrew a screw with pliers because you don’t have a screwdriver, and it kind of works, but it’s kind of shitty? And then you find a screwdriver and you’re like ahh…that’s right! So often we get mad because things are a bad version of something they aren’t, rather than giving them credit for being pretty good at what they are.

For example, “Ante Up” by M.O.P. might not be the best song ever written (although in fairness, it might be), but it is an absolutely perfect realization of “Ante Up.” I think it’s why I love I Think You Should Leave so much. It doesn’t feel like anything else. It’s exactly itself. (So is the movie Past Lives, but in a very different way.)

Does this make any sense? Have you experienced any art or culture or food or anything lately that’s exactly what it is?

Also, tickets for the late show of my special taping on June 21st are on sale now and going…medium fast. We can’t add any more shows, so if you’d like to be there, grab your tickets now before they’re gone!

(Also also I was on The Bugle last week, and it was SO fun, especially the part where Alice Fraser and I took a good 2-ish minutes to make fun of astronauts. I’m going to be a part of a couple of the podcast’s upcoming live shows via Zoom, and I couldn’t be more psyched!)

PEP TALK FOR THE SAD OOMPA LOOMPA

She’s like if Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad S3 worked at Willy Wonka’s factory.

It was already, perhaps, not the acme of your theatrical career when you took a job at an interactive Willy Wonka-themed “immersive experience.” And then you saw the script and realized it was complete nonsense generated by AI, as was the bulk of this whole endeavor. “At least this thing will be shut down quickly and no one will see it,” I imagine you thought to yourself, before your picture showed up online and you became more immediately recognizable than the cast of Dune II: Dune it Again.

Sure, you were briefly employed by a branded pop-up that is some how more fake and less worth the money than most Instagram traps. But think about it this way: While the people who paid roughly $50 to visit a replica of Willy Wonka’s factory left furious and disappointed, you brought so much free joy to people all across the world. And, honestly, it’s probably better that the display wasn’t more faithful to the source material. I can only speculate how dismal the conditions for workers were at a factory where they straight up tortured the customers.

You’re now known far and wide for a dead-eyed, Buscemi-esqe thousand-yard stare. That’s certainly few people’s dream. But you got to be a part of a massive cultural moment. It was a disaster, of course, but you got away relatively unscathed, and your trauma:good story ratio for this has got to be off the charts. There’s no way this will derail your career, unless you were hoping to open a legitimate Wonka-impersonation business, in which case people probably won’t put a whole lot of faith in your abilities.

Otherwise, you left your mark on the world without even having to turn a bratty tween into a berry or waterboard a rubenesque German boy with molten fudge. For a bad day, that’s a pretty good day.

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I edited this request lightly, per usual. Big whoop!

I’m trying to have a self-actualized identity outside of my work, and it’s really hard. Especially in this day and age, it feels like you can’t just be a person, and sort of like I never learned how without it relating to my work in some way.
- Looking Out the Career Window

It’s so seductive to let your career do the heavy lifting when defining your sense of self. To let yourself become the human version of one of those t-shirts that they advertise on Facebook like “I am an X-RAY TECHNICIAN. The RADIATION has given me the SUPER POWER of COMPASSION. I know my patients BETTER THAN THEIR OWN DOCTORS do. And, NO, I don’t have a LESS HEAVY LEAD APRON for you, chump.” What a relief to never have to round out a personality beyond your eight to twelve hours of economy-mandated time-spending. Pay stub take the wheel.

Unfortunately, all work and no play makes Jack (gender neutral) a dull bore (gender neutral). Fortunately (plot twist!!!) you probably have more going on than you give yourself credit for. Have you made any good meals lately? Eaten any good meals lately? Seen a movie you loved or hated? Found a light jacket that really ties your spring wardrobe together? Experimented with a new exercise regimen? Heard a song you like thanks to an eerily effective algorithm? Attended a political protest? Had sex in a mascot suit? Planted some vegetables that may or may not grow? Talked on the phone with an old friend? These things all count! Do you have kids? That’s something to talk about (and more importantly, something that probably takes up a lot of time and energy). Hell, if you know where and when you were born, you can hang a good chunk of a personality on astrology. Diversify your personfolio.

The message that our jobs are the most salient features of our identities is blared at us constantly, as if in an attempt to break down the mental walls of our Brain Jericho (does that make sense? who can say?). But the other qualities, interests, and habits we already have are equally if not more significant. Sometimes those habits and interests are corny, but your adult dodgeball league (let’s say) is so much more than just gym class for people with office jobs. It’s a reminder that in your free time, you are your own person, and you can do whatever you want within your financial means (and you can think/read/learn about whatever you want no matter what). If you are truly devoting all your waking hours to work, that’s a different problem than you’ve diagnosed. It’s not that you’re a less whole person; your life just sucks shit right now!

If you’re doing anything outside of work, you have more going on than you think! Take credit for the little things; added up, that’s who you are! You’re still allowed to be proud of your work on the ol’ x-ray machine, but that doesn’t define you, no matter what t-shirts Facebook’s targeted ads have sent your way.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
De La Soul - “The Magic Number”

De La Soul is one of my favorite groups ever, but for the last several years I’ve steered clear of their first album because it always feels a little more “of its time” than their later work. Last week, De La released a 35th anniversary version of the record and, guess what? I was being a dumbass. It’s an incredible “good vibes” album, and I shouldn’t have been such a grump about it. The re-release of 3 Feet High and Rising also reminded me to listen to the less groundbreaking but still extremely enjoyable work of Jurassic 5, a group that was a staple of my teenage years, but who seem to have kind of faded away, and nobody really talks about them anymore, possibly out of vague sense of embarrassment over their second-wave jazzy hip hop optimism. Anyway, enjoy a nice time and don’t be a snob about it like I was!

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’ve got some really fun shows coming up! Come see one! More NYC spots are listed on my website, and more road dates are coming soon!

I intend on getting my money’s worth out of this little poster I made!

3/7: Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me Live Recording (Chicago)

3/29-3/30: Comedy Attic (Bloomington, IN) (Four shows!)

4/5-4/6: Junk Drawer Coffee (New Orleans, LA) (Four shows!)

5/2: Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me Live Recording (Chicago)

5/3-5/4: Commonwealth Sanctuary in Dayton, KY (Tickets coming soon!)

5/8: Cobb’s Comedy Club (San Francisco)

5/10: Here-After (Seattle) (Two shows!)

5/12: Helium Comedy Club (Portland)

5/16-5/18: Vermont Comedy Club (Burlington) (Five shows!)

6/21: NEW SPECIAL TAPING AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN (Late show tickets on sale now!)