#86. Debate Watchers and You

I'm sorry for your loss (of two hours).

Hi everyone,

I’ve had a relatively low key week, which was a welcome change of pace if I’m being honest (and why would I not be honest…I didn’t even have to bring the topic up if I didn’t want to).

I started a book that I bought on a suggestions from a trusted friend, but I’m having a little trouble getting into it. I’m a big proponent of quitting things in the middle, but I don’t want to bail on something that came so highly recommended, especially while I’m only 10-15% of the way into it. It’s possible that I’m in one of those moods where the world feels hectic and no book will hold my attention at the moment. Although I did absolutely tear through Trees by Percival Everett recently as my wife’s proposed/predicted I might. I thought maybe I mentioned that in a recent newsletter, but a quick search says I did not. In the event that the Substack search function is accurate and I haven’t said this yet: Trees by Percival Everett is a great thing to read! It’s brutal and also very funny and also it FLIES by. I read the last 200+ pages in one sitting, staying up past my usual bedtime to do it! But that doesn’t answer the question of what I should read next. (My current plan is to finish Niagara Falls All Over Again by Elizabeth McCracken, another Maris pick. I started it during a six-hour airport delay and then, perhaps scarred by the association with travel snafus, I let it sit on my night table afterwards untouched.)

In an effort to enjoy the summer, I’ve been making lots of plans with friends and buying lots of concert tickets. I am keeping alive my tradition of seeing the same ten bands over and over every time they come to town (Charly Bliss, Jeff Rosenstock, Open Mike Eagle, They Might Be Giants, etc.), but I’m also seeing a bunch of artists for the first time even though they are very much not new artists (The Mountain Goats, Old 97s, Ben Folds). With Maris working on her book and Bizzy the pug needing a little extra attention as her 17th birthday approaches (we keep joking that we’re going to let her drive a car as a treat), I’m delighted to have a few no-travel, non-work events to look forward to in the coming months.

I can’t believe I missed this last week, but my episode of The JV Club, where I chat with the wonderful Janet Varney, is out now!! Janet is so talented and so kind. I worked on the last two JoCo Cruises with her, and it was so much fun to talk with her about comedy and childhood and stuff!!!

Similarly, I totally spaced on the fact that last week was the two year anniversary of the release of my standup special People Pleaser. It’s free with ads on Amazon/Prime/Freevee because we can’t stop reinventing cable. If you haven’t seen it, it would really mean a lot to me if you checked it out!

PEP TALK FOR DEBATE VIEWERS

The two best candidates that democracy has to offer, allegedly.

To anyone who watched the entire debate last Thursday: You don’t have to do that. You deserve better.

There wasn’t much to be learned from watching these two sleepy men argue with one another. Donald Trump reaffirmed that he’s one of the most dishonest, craven, selfish people in American history (a long list, but he cracks it). He is staggering madly towards the White House in hopes that reelection would shield him from (more) criminal prosecution until he eventually slips on a puddle of Diet Coke in the Oval Office and his heart bursts like a Gusher before he hits the ground. Joe Biden seemed (to say the most optimistic thing I can think of) likely to outlive Jimmy Carter.

Many people, including the Editorial Board of the New York Times, have called for Biden to step aside and let another candidate run on the Democratic ticket. That seems like something worth mulling over! Some people, however, responded by calling for Trump to drop out instead, as he is self-evidently an unfit candidate. That is true, but saying it like that, even as a thought exercise, is some real nerd shit. The people who support Trump like that he’s a bad person and a cruel politician. “Mr. Trump, if you have our nation’s best interest at heart—” let me stop you there: He doesn’t, and nobody who likes him gives one single fig (excuse my language). They would elect Trump even if it would cause the sea to swallow up the entirety of North America while they shot their guns at the rising tides, as long as it brought the corporate tax rate down.

The pitch for Joe Biden is that he seems nice and like you can maybe yell at him to change his mind if he’s not representing people well (which has been encouragingly true sometimes and upsettingly not true at other times). The appeal of Donald Trump (to the people he appeals to) is that he running over people’s expectations for how a President should act in a Tesla Cybertruck whose doors refuse to open despite being on fire, and also he wants to continue the upward transfer of American wealth while saying slurs.

The debate was horrendous, and we didn’t even learn much new information. You don’t have to watch the next one unless you are an undecided voter. And if you are one of those…there’s SO much for you to catch up on that the debates barely matter to you either. On WNYC last Friday, I was asked to give a non-partisan (lol!) pep talk to the listeners, and the thrust of it was this: Who the president is matters, but that person only controls so much, and at this point in the process, we only have so many options to choose from. (Personally, I think that another Trump presidency would entail an especially grim four years, especially considering who he appointed to the Supreme Court last time, and the fact that he might get to appoint MORE judges.) In the face of a national political apparatus that doesn’t always feel especially responsive to the voices of the people it represents, we have to show up for our communities and make a difference in the ways that are available to us. It matters and it helps.

That was true last week. It is true this week. And it will remain true if the two major party presidential candidates decide that instead of having an election, they plan to fist fight each other on the moon…for the good of the country.

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I’ve done a little tinkering with this request, but its core message remains the same!

I have been working at a large university for 5 years and in that time I have become so disillusioned about higher education. I genuinely like my job and am so grateful to have one that is actually not super stressful and pays a decent salary. However, I feel like both my employer & most large universities try very hard to project an image of excellence and "improving the human condition through research" when in reality everyone is overworked and underpaid and the bias, abuse, and other very real negatives of academia go unchanged. My employer made local news in the spring of 2024 for reacting violently to pro-Palestinian student protesters (calling the cops who of course made everything worse; withholding degrees from student protestors; firing professors who participated; sending out whiny tearful university bulletins about how hurtful the protestors' actions were to the university). Do you have a pep talk for someone who is thinking about leaving their job and possibly their whole field over ethical concerns? Is it even possible to be ethically employed in 2024? It seems like every company or employer out there is doing harm somehow.
- Not Great, Job

I read somewhere (Twitter, I’m pretty sure) a lament sometimes people use the maxim “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism” as an opportunity to reject ethics rather than a chance to challenge capitalism. (If anyone knows who I am cribbing that from, please leave a comment and I’ll happily attribute.) That little piece of wisdom burbles up to the top of my brain whenever it seems like someone is using “I can’t be ethical because I’m living under capitalism” as an “I only smoke when I drink” type hall pass. Like, is this ethical compromise an unavoidable consequence of living in our society, or has our society simply made it annoying to be more thoughtful about certain choices?

I usually approach my responses to these pep talk requests firmly in the corner of the writer. After all, they’re the ones who reach out looking for a kind word. Why would I side with their enemies, who were never nice to me, personally? In fairness, I don’t have anything unkind to say to this writer. We all have to earn a living somehow. And it’s a privilege to get to do it in a way that doesn’t destroy your brain or body. I guess your brain is part of your body, but it gets destroyed in its own special ways sometimes. Science is so magical! So I don’t have anything mean to say, but I do have some contrary thoughts!

Everyone deserves comfort and safety. On the other hand, Not Great, I have a feeling (and maybe I’m wrong…maybe I’m just hungry or sleepy) that you are writing in part because you have pinpointed that you can see where a corner of your blanket of comfort and safety may have been secured by tugging it off of someone else’s chilly toes. Obviously, we all participate in systems that are ultimately destructive when you zoom out far enough. But it’s a real cockroach in your chowder when you see that the struggle of others that enables your own material ease is already in frame.

So, my pep talk to you is this: It’s okay to be a little less comfortable to live in a way that’s a little more aligned with your values. That might not even mean leaving your job. It might entail organizing your coworkers into a union to curtail some of the aforementioned workplace abuses if you don’t have one already. Or just generally making yourself a pain in the ass for just causes (like the aforementioned treatment of pro-Palestinian student protestors) in a way that your bosses don’t like. Maybe there is a job out there at another institution that feels more wholesome. Or maybe you can use your free time and energy to quietly offset some of the harms you’re alarmed to be working adjacent to. A college campus isn’t an arms manufacturer; and most nonprofits aren’t untouched oases of human goodness. So it’s up to you to calibrate your life, politically. Sorry!

My hunch (or my craving for a nap or a piece of toast with peanut butter on it) tells me that you are feeling out of sync with yourself and looking for a job that lets you stay equally comfortable while feeling morally at ease (probably not possible) or a get-out-of-hard-choices-free card given that our society has recently made it illegal to sleep if you don’t have a house to do it in, so what the fuck are any of us supposed to do about anything?

I believe in your ability to stick your neck out a little farther than feels safe right now. Or to find another position that causes you to contort yourself a little less knottily into compromised positions. If you can’t claim flawless ethics, at least you can cut down on a little of your capitalism intake.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
Statik Seltktah - “Bird’s Eye View” (feat. Raekwon, Joey Bada$$, and Black Thought)

This is not a new song, and I’m not even sure how it popped into my head, but I’ve been listening to it over and over again this week. There’s something about the languid ease of the beat (and the vocals sampled within) that makes it feel like breezy listening for high-humidity days.

Plus, I got another reader submission! The song is called “Strange Report” and it’s by the band They Explode! It’s crunchy! It’s melodic! It’s good!

I’ve also been very into the new Previous Industries (Open Mike Eagle, Video Dave, STILL RIFT) album, but I think I’ve linked to a few of those songs already. And Queen of Jeans has a new record out too that I’m excited about.

UPCOMING SHOWS

I really need to update my full calendar on my website, but here’s some stuff I’ve got going on in the very near future around New York City!

7/3: The Tony Show at UCB

7/7: Dranks with Dory at Young Ethel’s (3pm show)

7/12: Celebrity Drop-In at City Winery

7/13: Sick-Ass Panther at Red Baron Ink Tattoo and Piercing (NYC)

7/16: Comedy Juice at Gotham Comedy Club

7/17: Ambush Comedy at Ebbs Brewing in Williamsburg