#88. You But Also Me

It's been a weird week!

On Saturday, several notable things happened. Most newsworthily (absolutely a word), someone tried to shoot Donald Trump, which you’re not allowed to do, and you’re not even really supposed to express your very funny opinions about in a newsletter. I did not do the first thing, obviously, and I will also refrain from the second thing. But please know I have very funny thoughts.

In other Saturday news, our beloved pug Bizzy celebrated her 17th birthday. Well, she turned 17, and Maris and I celebrated by giving her treats and dressing her up in outfits that she hates. So, a traditional dog birthday. We were considering letting Bizzy drive a car, but deemed it too dangerous. I thought maybe we could bring her to a Rated R movie and let her buy her own ticket, but that seemed dubious given how quickly she was thrown out of our local bar the one time Maris tried to bring her in.

A dog never ages out of you being able to dress them however you want.

The third relevant piece of Saturday news is that I tested positive for Covid the 19th. I am writing this newsletter from our little home office/second bedroom where I’ve been hanging out on a futon for the last two-ish days. I feel bad but fortunately not like, dangerously bad. Just, let’s say, hangover-level bad. I sent a bunch of platonic/professional “you should get tested” texts to people I saw on Friday, and so far so good with them (phew). I am planning to spend my time in quarantine reading a book if my brain stops sloshing around in virus soup long enough to focus. (I started Sellout by Dan Ozzi while I was away last week and it’s great!) And last night I watched a Michael Mann movie (Miami Vice) that Maris agreed in theory to watch with me, but it never seemed like the right time.

I spent a sizable chunk of the weekend cancelling all my in-person plans for the next week. Then I watched the men’s Wimbledon finale but also some NBA Summer League games, which is as dire a reflection of my condition as any of my physical symptoms. I ate a bunch of takeout and drank a bunch of Gatorade, and I anticipate these few activities being on repeat for several more days. (I also got up this morning and cancelled some not-in-person activities as well.)

I’m trying to avoid caffeine and alcohol this week to give my immune system its best chance at doing it’s thing. So I’d like to give a special shout out to Maris for picking me up a Dunkin’ iced decaf coffee this morning, which was delicious and functionally like if you could water down water with wetter water.

Anyway! Sorry for the abbreviated newsletter this week! Here’s a very quick pep talk before I go:

• If a pug can live to 17 years of age (over 100 in dog years, and like 1,000,000 years old in “how are they alive?” years) then there is so much that you too can overcome with tenacity, and a loving family, and 20-ish hours of sleep per day.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
Rachel Chinouriri - “Never Need Me”

Maris and I heard this song on some kind of prefabricated playlist of pop songs as we were driving home from visiting her parents in New Jersey last week. We liked it in a way that might be context dependent and might not. You be the judge! And then we listened to “Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen, which is the most important song to listen to when you drive out of New Jersey.

A FEW NEW TOUR DATES

On September 5th-8th, I’m going back out on the road with the Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! standup tour! I’ll be doing a short-ish set of standup alongside some other great Wait Wait regulars in really nice theaters. It’s always so fun to perform for these crowds! And I’m going to come through a few cities that I have never performed in or haven’t been to in a while! See you in a few weeks, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, and Atlanta!!!