Hi everyone,
Since testing negative for covid, my week practically crackled with possibility and adventure. I did an extremely fun bit with my friend Demi Adejuyigbe at his sold out show warming up for the Edinburgh Fringe festival. If you happen to be in Scotland next month, check out Demi’s show! Or my friend Andrew Mayer’s show! Or my buddies in Ladies Who Ranch! Or the great Cat Cohen! (There are a zillion great shows happening! I don’t have the time or knowledge recommend them all!) Demi’s show is incredibly inventive, and he’s so wildly talented at so many facets of writing and performance! I was really inspired watching him, and I had so much fun goofing around with the little improvised bit we did. Thanks, Demi!
On Wednesday I got to tell some jokes on my friend Gary Gulman’s sold out show at Union Hall! Gary also blows me away with his writing and performance. In all honesty, I sometimes worry that people will catch on to the fact that 50% of what I’m doing onstage is just ripping off Gary, but lazy (the other 50% is ripping off Mike Birbiglia, but boring). Longtime newsletter readers may be familiar with this late night set of Gary’s that I’ve shared before. Master class shit!
I came away from those shows positively exhausted by my old thoughts, and ready to dig in and start working on new standup! AND I have a new cut of my special to watch. I’m really psyched about how it’s coming together! Woo!
Maris and I also had some great meals out for various celebrations. Our friend Jesse had a birthday party at the new (temporary?) Mission Chinese popup in Chinatown, and then our friends Jason and Emily curated a New England vs. Chicago (classic rivals) menu for a Shabbat(ish) Dinner at Gertie’s in Williamsburg, which included, among other dishes, Chicago-style latkes!
The event was largely secular, but I was sitting next to a cool young rabbi, and when someone described Shabbat as less about religion and mostly about togetherness, she did go: “Hmm!” which made me laugh. More importantly, though…everything was VERY tasty.
On Saturday my friends Maggie and Michael picked me up in a car, and we drove to Western Massachusetts for a private gig. We learned when we arrived that the woman who booked us had done so as a surprise for this party of friends who meet up once a year in the Berkshires (and would not tell us how they knew each other). So we were performing a full standup show to an audience who did not know a standup show was about to happen. This is, to use a little insider term, not ideal.
Comedy is like a massage. If someone asks you for it, it can be an extremely enjoyable experience. But it is not something you should inflict upon them without their explicit consent (although unlike recording a Major League Baseball game you don’t need express written consent). The crowd ended up being very polite and ultimately appreciative, but the best part of the gig was the road trip up and back, and how good the pizza at the venue was. (The staff was also extraordinarily kind and helpful.)
And Sunday I had another super fun show and drinks with my friend Max who lives nearby. Plus I did some podcasts and other lightly professional things that don’t make for great newsletter fodder yet. Now I am tired on a Monday morning, but in a good did-a-lot-of-stuff way instead of a sloggy illness way, and that’s a huge turnaround.
ANYWAY, Alison Leiby and I just added the great Adam Conover to our show at Union Hall in Brooklyn this Saturday at 10pm. It’s going to be so much fun! Emmy Blotnick, Shalewa Sharpe, and Brittany Carney will be telling jokes too!
Grab a ticket! Hear some new jokes from me and Alison, and some great pre-existing jokes from the other comics!
PEP TALK FOR J.D. VANCE
Look at how far you’ve come. You started off fake poor, and now you’re one of America’s premiere fake populists. With your recent addition to the Trump presidential ticket, the whole country knows you, and they fuckin’ hate you, dude. According to a recent CNN/SSRS poll, you have a 28% favorability rating, which is basically the Rotten Tomatoes score for one of Tyler Perry’s non-Madea movies where the point is that getting divorced gives you hepatitis or something.
You could have simply been a rich twerp who went to law school at Yale and never stops talking about it. You could have settled for selling your family out in your best-selling memoir (Dipshit Sonata, I think it was called). You could have said dayenu (Jewish for, “knock it off, already”) when you became a U.S. Senator. Sadly, you did what we encouraged all children to do, and really shot for the moon. You did not land among the stars, however; you found yourself wedged penis-first in a piece of furniture.
You’ve landed directly in the field of vision of the public eye, and the public does not like what it sees. Last week a rumor that your book included a passage about having sex with a couch became so prevalent that the Associated Press had to run an article stating that you did NOT actually make love to a loveseat, which they had to walk back because no one could effectively prove that you didn’t, at some point, engage in the act of sexual intercouch. Whether or not it’s true, it doesn’t speak highly of your public image that people heard this rumor, saw your face, and thought…I know the book was loosely and offensively about the struggle many people face with opioid addiction, but now my dominant impression is that this creep is positively hooked on cushion pushin’. Do they have rehab for that?
I want you to think back three weeks, J.D. Return in your mind’s eye to a time when people vaguely knew your name and face and reputation. But they hadn’t heard you say that your political opponents are lonely miserable cat ladies. They maybe didn’t know you were an anti-choice zealot in a way that is out of step with both public opinion and medical good. Or that you think people should get to cast proxy ballots in national elections based on how many children they have. Before even Donald Trump who just selected you as his running mate was rumored to be looking for ways to get rid of you like a high school senior figuring out how to dump her boyfriend before leaving for college.
Think back to those heady times, back in early July, when most people didn’t know what a creepy sexist weirdo you are. It must have felt like the sun’s warmth shining down on Icarus, just before the first bead of wax melted away from his wings, alerting the people below about his impending plummet from the sky.
Obviously no result in November’s election or beyond is even close to assured. But you are effectively running as the giant dead bird on a Mariner/Albatross 2024 ticket. You’d come so far without your horrible personality and opinions being a hindrance to you. That’s a real success story. You had everything but this, but you wanted everything. But with any luck (for all of us) you’ll recede gently from the public eye the way you allegedly removed yourself, flacidly from a sofa.
PEP TALK FOR READERS
Hey at least no matter how badly your last week went, there was no nation-wide rumor about you, a couch, and one unforgettable night. You’ve got that going for you!
PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Kanye West - “Gone”
(But just the Cam’ron verse!)
Kanye West’s legacy has unravelled fairly thoroughly over the past few years, but I will not deny myself the joy of Cam’ron’s verse (starting at 1:28) over those strings. Sorry! You can’t take that away from me, pro-Hitler Kanye!
Also: My buddy Shonali has a new album out. It’s very good, and it sounds like this!
UPCOMING SHOWS
I really need to update my full calendar on my website, but here’s some stuff I’ve got going on in the very near future!
I’ll be on a few of the Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! standup tour dates later this summer!
7/30: Scorpion Records (Queens)
8/3: Co-Hosting SUP, BRO? with Alison Leiby at Union Hall (Brooklyn)
8/6: Cassie and her CRUSHES at Union Hall (Brooklyn)
8/6: Tuesdays at the Red Room with Emily Wilson (New York City)
9/5: Wait Wait Standup Tour (Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
9/6: Wait Wait Standup Tour (Orlando, FL)
9/7: Wait Wait Standup Tour (Tampa, FL)
9/8: Wait Wait Standup Tour (Atlanta, GA)
9/20-9/21: High Plains Comedy Festival (Denver) MORE INFO SOON!
9/26: Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me Radio Recording (Kansas City)
really enjoyed your reference to the copyright policies of Major League Baseball broadcasts, great work
dear josh,
another banger*!
* great piece, if my mom is reading this (also, what are people younger than i am calling "bangers" these days? surely it must be something else by now)
this is very funny: "In all honesty, I sometimes worry that people will catch on to the fact that 50% of what I’m doing onstage is just ripping off Gary, but lazy (the other 50% is ripping off Mike Birbiglia, but boring)."
some day (maybe even today), there will be comedians out there worried people will see through their facade of doing Josh Gondelman (but mean)!
thanks for sharing, friend!
love
myq
PS "Dipshit Sonata" is DELIGHTFUL!