#110. Yoon Suk Yeol and You

Impeach navidad! (Because it's almost Christmas.)

Hi everyone,

Materially, I have had a totally fine and good week. AND YET, I was in an intensely foul mood for several days, just stomping around, grumbling to myself (and others), and being a general pain in the ass. Nothing catastrophic happened, even though I missed a standup show because the train stopped working (not ideal), and I had trouble focusing on a little work I had to do (got it done eventually, though). But that did not stop me from temporarily ruining my own life with bad vibes!

The dust cloud lifted several times (the Writers Guild holiday party, getting to chat and take pictures with my friend Mindy Tucker…even though I did a bad job preparing for the photos, seeing They Might Be Giants with Maris, eating part of a big sandwich my friend won in a raffle), but as soon as I was done having fun, I hurled myself right back into this little rut. My brain is largely back on its feet now, but yikes I am not used to being so grumpy for such a sustained period, and I’m not good at it!

I’m feel so jealous when I see people who are skilled at being mad, whether they channel it into working out or getting revenge. When I’m in a bad mood I just want to like…flop around until I exhaust myself from flailing and pass out. Do you all have any better ways of handling anger? I would love to hear them!

Circling back (to myself) for just a moment, I want to say how great They Might Be Giants are as a live band. I first knew them from their animated shorts on Tiny Tune Adventures and secondarily from their album Flood which I’d inherited after the death of my uncle Jay. He was a fascinating guy and had a wildly eclectic CD collection that I downloaded into my head little bits at a time. (TMBG, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and the rapper Chubb Rock were some memorable inclusions.) Then in the summer of 2005, a bunch of my childhood friends headed down to Lebowskifest in Louisville (for the second time…more on that later, or never!), where TMBG headlined the big opening night concert, and I was kicked in the chest by how powerful they sound with a full band. Some of their arrangements on record sound a little…novelty song, but they are a real-ass band with a big live sound. I imagine that’s a big factor in how they’ve remained a band for forty-plus years.

I also love the way TMBG weaves these intense moments of tenderness and melancholy into such quirky premises. It reminds me of the improv maxim of committing to the stakes of the scene, or the way Charlie Kaufman’s movie scripts take absurd concepts (you can spend fifteen minutes being John Malkovich) and play them out to their emotional conclusions. On Friday night I was struck by the lyric “I want to thank you for putting me back in my snail shell” from the song “Snail Shell” which is ostensibly about a snail that fell out of its shell, but is also poetically about coming across someone who puts you back into alignment with your own sense of purpose and identity. I also got a little choked up by the lyric “leave the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul,” and I’m not even 100% sure what that one means!

I really resist depressing art that is “naturalistic” or “realistic,” but I’m much more willing to engage with weirdo surrealist drags. (Maybe that means I’m a baby who can’t handle the real world. But also maybe it means that I know war is bad and I get bored when that’s what a movie is all about.) This also points back to my eye rolls at so many awards-y movie performances. Oh, he acted sad because in the movie his son died? WE ALL KNOW THAT DEATH MAKES YOU FEEL SAD. I’m way more interested in a coherent portrayal of a guy who learns that he is appearing in the dreams of everyone in the world. (Even though that specific movie was a little uneven!)

In other news!

I’m co-hosting tonight’s Frankenstein’s Baby show at Union Hall in Brooklyn with Alison Leiby! It’s a very fun lineup!

Leiby and I have also added Dave Mizzoni to our Sup, Bro? show at Sketchfest in San Francisco on 1/25! (A truly bonkers lineup! Aparna Nancherla! Dulcé Sloan! Paul F. Tompkins! Dave Mizzoni) You should come!

Photo by Arin Sang-urai

I’ve been on a bunch of recent podcasts that I forgot to mention, so here goes!

• I was deeply flattered to try on my native accent for a Dead Pilots Society reading of a dormant script for a show called Massholes. My personal accent kind of faded in and out, to be honest! But I gave it my all!

• I showed up on some recent episodes of Sound Heap with the great John-Luke Roberts!

• I have recently been obsessed with my friends’ extremely chaotic new podcast Welcome to Talk Town, and I was lucky enough to appear as a guest on the last two episodes. It was some of the most fun I’ve had in months!!!

• Did I mention that I chatted with my old friend Gabe Dunn about Iron Man, which I’d never seen before and did NOT like?

• Oh and also here’s a little topical standup joke that didn’t do great, but I still like so I shared it on the internet anyway.

joshgondelman

A post shared by @joshgondelman

PEP TALK FOR YOON SUK YEOL

They call him Eminem (the Ms stand for “Martial Mistake”) now. I mean, they don’t, but they could.

Mr. President, you really stepped in it. You declared martial law about a week ago, which people did not like (people rarely enjoy martial law, I’ve found). And then your declaration of military rule was voted down, which must have been so humiliating. In America, our (once and future, ugh) president’s attempt at seizing power through force was executed by a bunch of off-duty police officers and wine moms who think ordering furniture online is the same as sex trafficking. Obviously they weren’t going to succeed. But you declared the military was in charge of South Korea, and you got voted down. Not to engage in toxic masculinity, but you got cucked by democracy, dude. Strongman leaders all over the world are probably cooking you in your group chats, and even female Fox News anchor types who LOVE when men take their rights away most likely got an incurable case of “the ick.”

Now you’ve been impeached by parliament, which, unlike in our government here, means that you are prohibited from exercising presidential power until the whole situation is resolved. Even worse, your own party turned against you because you refused to resign. And honestly, as an American, it’s kind of beautiful to see that some political parties in some parts of the world still have a sense of shame. If a Republican politician in America failed to implement marital law, their supporters around the country would rush out into the streets and BEG the military to suppress their rights out of fealty to their leader. Matt Gaetz would stage a photo op with his leg pinned underneath a tank tread while he gave the thumbs up straight to camera. It’s lightly encouraging to know that in South Korea, some politicians still view embarrassment as embarrassing.

You’ve got a little time on your hands now, it seems. And that’s a chance for you to figure out what’s next because, unless you were really good at martial law, there was always going to be a next thing. If you don’t die in office, you’ve got to have a third act. It seems unlikely you can take after the recent American tradition and become elected president again after exhibiting wildly disqualifying behavior. But maybe you can do the slightly less recent American ex-president things of taking up painting or turning yourself into an entertainment executive or becoming vegan and just continuing to stick around while people grow more and more aware of your flaws over time.

Your options are limitless (well, except for being president still). You’re done with public service; now you’re ready for a little Yoon-time.

(DISCLAIMER: I know very little about Korean politics and hopefully learned just enough for this pep talk to make a little sense and not sound culturally monstrous!)

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I’ve done just a little editing of this request for brevity!

Not sure if this is relatable but we're halfway through December and I am struggling to get into the holiday spirit. I'm not at all depressed, everything is going great. I just feel tired after this past year, and like my head has been elsewhere (particularly the recent news cycle). Would love a pep talk on how to restore some holiday spirit and maybe get my groove back in time for Christmas.
- Holidazed and Holiconfused

This writer has captured maybe the most prevalent mood I’ve ever seen someone describe as potentially unrelatable. Nearly everyone I know is feeling burnt out, wrung out, and a third out of your choosing. Our presidential election ended in a true worst case scenario for many people (although if you’re a billionaire who owns a racist bumper sticker factory, all your dreams are coming true). Everything feels like a scam lately. I am currently being hounded to pay two months of membership dues for a gym I’ve never been to in a city I haven’t lived in for over a decade. There are maybe some unexplained drones hovering over New Jersey, but also a bunch of dummies are getting freaked out while accidentally stargazing or spotting regular-ass airplanes. We’ve been living in “unprecedented times” for so long, I think it’s safe to say we’ve established a new precedent.

(Okay so maybe I am still wallowing in a little residual crankiness.)

Because you asked, and because I believe I have something to offer here, I will dip my toes briefly in to the advice-giving pool. Outside of the general year-end malaise, I deeply relate to the feeling of looking at a calendar and seeing a solid block of stuffI’vegottado. It’s a daunting position to be in, considering two or more weeks as a single unit of BUSY. But even if your holidays (Hanukkah and the other ones) are packed with obligations, I want to offer a few ways to reframe that experience and make it less dreadful.

How you’re feeling right now.

1. Break this period down into its component parts. Not for productivity reasons. I don’t think a to-do list is going to eradicate your doldrums. But even just considering the individual things that are keeping you busy is a nice way to focus on the events and experiences themselves rather than the fact that you are constantly occupied. You’ve got to go to the mall and pick up a couple of gifts? That’s not just an hour and a half of Being Annoyed (although it’s maybe also that); it’s a chance to bring joy into the lives of your loved ones. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t be doing it. Throw a podcast or audiobook on in your headphones and hurl yourself into the fray of commerce.
   
   UGHHH you have to make an appearance at an office Christmas party? Sure, that’s a demand on your time. But what will you be doing there? Probably making some stilted smalltalk but probably also catching up with someone who you enjoy chatting with and mostly only see in the context of work. Get psyched for gossip instead of viewing the event as a period of your life you’re handing over to the whims of fate. Is there an hour you can reclaim for yourself in the middle of the day or after everyone else is asleep? SEIZE IT! It’s yours now! No one can make you not do that!

2. What will make this fun? Now that you’ve considered what you Have To Do, is there a way to make it more enjoyable? Can you bring a friend? Will there be a dog you can pet at this event, or a group of kids building a Lego structure you can ingratiate yourself with instead of talking about How Work Is with older cousins you never see? Can you talk with the older cousins about how annoying (or adorable) the kids are? Will there be food you’re excited to eat? This can be a fraught and frazzling time of year if you have difficult relationships with family members or holiday celebrations themselves. So…how can you build or observe traditions in ways that are as joyous as possible (AJAP).
   
   This is something I used to tell friends who were trudging through first date after first date with dud after dud: It’s supposed to be fun. If it’s not fun, you don’t have to do it. And while that’s absolutely true with dating, it’s not always the case with family. You don’t always get the chance to opt out. But still, a party, a gathering, a family dinner is supposed to be fun, and treating it as such is a helpful way to start. But also…

3. How can you indulge the feeling of Don’t Wanna? Sometimes things have to get done, which is sad but true. There’s cleaning, cooking, gift buying, orchestrating travel, wrangling childcare, pretending Santa is real, making excuses for things you can’t do, and so much more. Obviously a disproportionate amount of stuff on average falls to moms under the auspices of “having it all.” But sometimes moms and others simply Don’t Wanna. In those cases, it might help to consider what can you…not do?
   
   Do you have the ability to throw a few dollars at a problem? Make it rain, and buy some nice cookies instead of baking them! Are you expected to travel an inconvenient distance to see people who make you feel bad? Stay home! Are you overwhelmed with tasks? Ask for help! Or, quietly delete a few low-priority chores from your itinerary. If nobody but you is expected to pay attention to them anyway, chances are other people might not even notice they didn’t get done. Don’t wrap gifts! Put them in little bags! Or leave them in the bags they came in! Who gives a shit?

This is not failproof methodology. Sometimes you just have to do things you don’t want to. Or even a deluge of good things can leave you underwater. But instead of considering The Holidays as an mountain to be scaled, that you can make life easier by driving a car up the path instead of walking, or remembering that you’re climbing this mountain because you want to, or if you actually are not interested in scaling the peak, you’re free to go around. Everest is optional. And so is making egg nog from scratch.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Bob Sapp - “Sapp Time”

Kind of a curveball this week, I know. This video feels like a very early aughts “can you believe this silly thing is on the internet?” cultural element, but I never hear it brought up as such. Maybe “Sapp Time” never achieved the heights of virality required to coast smoothly into the future. Perhaps there was just not a specific cultural stickiness that kept it around.

In any case, this music video that my college hallmates and I stumbled upon during out first year in school popped into my head this week, and the song is still surprisingly catchy in its clunkiness. I think at one point I knew what some of the Japanese words meant, but I do not remember any of the translations. The phonetic pronunciations are still rolling around along the wrinkles in my brain though.

(For reference, Bob Sapp played in one NFL game and then at some point moved to Japan to pursue combat sports, which he was not very good at, comparative to other professional fighters. But do they have a theme song like this? I don’t think so!)

SOME OTHER STUFF I ENJOYED

My friend Yassir Lester wrote (and co-directed along with his brother Isaiah) an extremely silly movie starring Shameik Moore and D’Arcy Carden (Janet from The Good Place), and Maris and I had a blast watching it. It was the most/hardest I’ve laughed at a movie this year!

Also my friend Martin Urbano put out a new standup special in character as a general creep who is making his return from being “cancelled.” He’s an excellent writer and performer, and he’s always turning the premises of his own jokes in on themselves over and over in a way that really asks the audience to examine what they’re laughing at. It’s a real tightrope walk!

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’ve got a bunch of NYC dates coming up, and then a few back on the road! See you there?!?!

12/16: Co-Hosting Frankenstein’s Baby at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

12/19: Comedy Cellar (NYC), Bushwick Comedy Club (Brooklyn)

1/9: Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me Live Recording (Chicago)

1/25: Sup, Bro? at SF Sketchfest