Dear Whelm, I AM in a similarly leaky boat as sole caregiver to a very sick family member. I am in a wheelchair myself (20yrs) but I have forced myself to be a favor whore to see that things get done. First of all, anyone who says “let me know how I can help” is fair game. Please allow them to help. Be extremely grateful and try not to cannibalise your support network. Even the most willing helper has a life, and sorry, but you are not allowed to resent when they say no.
Second, find community resources to help. Local agencies that offer senior care respite, churches, and even disease-specific networks can give you a surprising amount of support, emotional, logistical, and sometimes even financial. Use them. Ask your folks’ doctors about issues you are struggling with.
Lastly, like Josh said, take care of yourself. Let some things slide, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. Draw on your faith or get back to it if you’ve been away. Check on others. You would be amazed to see how many people you know are much worse off than you. Keep listening to funny people and laugh like hell! And if you get in over your head, get professional help.
Good luck to you, a lot of us civilians are all of a sudden caregivers these days. You can do this.
I saw someone say (on Twitter maybe?) that part of being a good leader is making sure that there are people behind you to keep up what you've created, and I'm pretty sure it was in reference to these same folks. There are other people who might like a chance!
O.A.R. I am not in the exact same boat, but let's just say we're both bobbing in the same waves when it comes to caring for ill parents, and I am kind of as lost and frustrated as you are. No advice, just solidarity. I see you, buddy.
I’ve been meaning to respond to this since Monday, but #life. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting 😂
1.) “spring for vegetables” is the greatest description ever
2.) no wait - the comparison to picasso’s guernica. You’re on fire, Josh!
3.) I hate flavored coffee, too, but if you’re ever near Bowling Green, Ohio (Jesus god why would you be), stop by Grounds For Thought and try their Highlander Grogg coffee. It’s mind blowing and the only thing about BG I miss.
Dear Whelm, I AM in a similarly leaky boat as sole caregiver to a very sick family member. I am in a wheelchair myself (20yrs) but I have forced myself to be a favor whore to see that things get done. First of all, anyone who says “let me know how I can help” is fair game. Please allow them to help. Be extremely grateful and try not to cannibalise your support network. Even the most willing helper has a life, and sorry, but you are not allowed to resent when they say no.
Second, find community resources to help. Local agencies that offer senior care respite, churches, and even disease-specific networks can give you a surprising amount of support, emotional, logistical, and sometimes even financial. Use them. Ask your folks’ doctors about issues you are struggling with.
Lastly, like Josh said, take care of yourself. Let some things slide, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. Draw on your faith or get back to it if you’ve been away. Check on others. You would be amazed to see how many people you know are much worse off than you. Keep listening to funny people and laugh like hell! And if you get in over your head, get professional help.
Good luck to you, a lot of us civilians are all of a sudden caregivers these days. You can do this.
Hoo boy. 2 things:
I saw someone say (on Twitter maybe?) that part of being a good leader is making sure that there are people behind you to keep up what you've created, and I'm pretty sure it was in reference to these same folks. There are other people who might like a chance!
O.A.R. I am not in the exact same boat, but let's just say we're both bobbing in the same waves when it comes to caring for ill parents, and I am kind of as lost and frustrated as you are. No advice, just solidarity. I see you, buddy.
Bobbing in the same waves, too. I hope you both can find little moments of joy in the not-drowning.
I’ve been meaning to respond to this since Monday, but #life. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting 😂
1.) “spring for vegetables” is the greatest description ever
2.) no wait - the comparison to picasso’s guernica. You’re on fire, Josh!
3.) I hate flavored coffee, too, but if you’re ever near Bowling Green, Ohio (Jesus god why would you be), stop by Grounds For Thought and try their Highlander Grogg coffee. It’s mind blowing and the only thing about BG I miss.
Catching up on reading and got a literal LOL outta:
"live as long and happy a life as karma dictates on an individual basis"
DAMN I LOVE YOUR WRITING. And that sentiment. I'll be sending that thought out into the universe in many directions for many years, and I thank you.