#50. Opening Acts and You

You're the star of the show for a few minutes at least!

It has been another harrowing week of news, which means it’s been another absolutely deranged week of opinions on the internet. I’ve been seeing a real tension of it’s okay to log off and take care of yourself versus you cannot look away from the horrors of the world, and I kind of think both things are true! It’s important to be aware of what’s going on in the world, but just because we can beam the news into our brains 24/7 doesn’t make that the healthiest thing to do (or even necessarily the most responsible thing) for everyone, in my opinion.

I haven’t made it out to any of the rallies happening in New York, but I am (cautiously) encouraged by the voices who are mourning all the tragic deaths in Israel and Gaza (as well as grieving for victims of antisemitic and Islamophobic violence elsewhere) while working towards a lasting peace. I’ve tried to avoid debating with people yelling at me online for taking what feels like a fairly common-sense stance. But the piece I linked to above expresses (more articulately and informedly than I can) the related ideas that:

1. Standing against antisemitism does not require supporting (and financing!!!) brutality by the right-wing Israeli government and its military.

2. Expressing solidarity with Palestinians and supporting their safety and freedom is not a threat to Jewish people or supportive of violence against them (us!).

Anyway, outside of emailing my representatives to express my support for an immediate ceasefire (I should call them too, I guess!) and donating to relief efforts and staying broadly on top of the evolving news, I’ve also tried to spend a lot of time drinking coffee and talking trash with friends in person and watching Victor Wembanyama preseason highlights and dressing my dog up for Halloween.

I swear this costume was Maris's idea, not mine!

I’ve also been really lucky to get to do so many fun shows with good friends this week. Butter Boy with Maeve Higgins and Jo Firestone was a blast as always. I had a great time doing hip hop trivia with Petey DeAbreu as guests on Donwill and Sean Kantrowitz’s show at Bierwax (a cool bar I’d never been to). And Zach Sherwin’s Crossword Show (still on tour) was incredible as always. Zach has the biggest most hardworking brain in the business, and Sydnee Washington is hilarious and was so fun to solve a crossword with!

Fun! With! Friends! (The picture of Maeve and Jo is by the great Jordan Ashleigh!)

PEP TALK FOR OPENING ACTS

This was actually the headliner from Saturday night’s show, but you know what that kind of proves my point doesn’t it?

I went to a concert with Maris on Saturday night where we listened to the opening act through the wall of the venue’s bar. It was nothing personal; we enjoyed their set very much from a distance (sorry that sounds like an insult). It’s just like, we didn’t have that extra 30-60 minutes of standing in the back third of a crowded room in us that evening.

Opening acts, speaking as someone who is still occasionally one of you, I feel for you! It’s extremely weird to live your dream under disappointing conditions. Opening a show for a bigger act can be a thrill and a joy. Or, when the audience isn’t into it, it can feel like eating a Michelin-starred meal in a Porta Potty. Half amazing, half atrocious.

I was talking with a friend the other night about the concept of “main character syndrome,” the idea that a person might sometime act as if the rest of the world exists as supporting actors in their story. That can for sure be obnoxious when people center themselves inappropriately. (“How could my best friend get married during my birthday week????”) But also, you kind of…are the main character of your life. Even under regular circumstances, and it’s okay to feel that. (“I do not oppose the St. Patrick’s Day parade, but I am not enthusiastic about how slow it is making the city bus today!”) And it can be especially hard to reconcile when you are taking center stage (literally or figuratively) but the fans aren’t really fans while you’re onstage. Especially when the audience is hostile, indifferent, or not even there yet.

Living the dream is still a privilege even when it is a sub-dream inside someone else’s more expansive dream, like show business Inception. Things aren’t always good or fair in this (or any) industry, but you’re going to perform to new fans (as well as the backs of people’s heads) in a big (if potentially vacant) new space. You’ll look back on this with new perspective when you’re a big success, or when (I’m sorry!!!) you realize that this was the biggest show you’d ever do, and how exciting it was in retrospect. As long as nobody is shorting you on the money or subjecting you to harassment, it’s actually kind of nice to do things like this sometimes. Maybe you can snag some catering from the headliner’s green room while they’re onstage, too.

And, if it makes you feel any better, sometimes we skip out on the headliner’s encore to beat the traffic. So…it’s not just you, you know?

(NOTE: This is not about any of the wonderful friends/colleagues I’ve opened for this year!!! I’ve had such a good time and am so appreciative of the opportunity and the hangouts and for not being responsible for drawing a crowd!!!)

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I didn’t condense this request at all. Do I need to say that? I did apply the nickname though.

OK. I could use a pep talk! I am having the worst year ever, professionally speaking. Last year, I quit a steady job to freelance full-time and it went great. This year, ALL my freelance work has totally dried up and I feel like I made a huge mistake in quitting my previous job. I'm applying for part-time work, freelance work, and full-time work... and no one will hire me, even though I am creative, organized, and personable. In the meantime, I work in a creative field and to most people it LOOKS like I'm having a great year creatively, but my creative efforts yield very little actual money. I'm waiting to hear back on whether a big project of mine is going to come to fruition... but it might not, and even if it does, I don't know how long it will take or exactly how much money I will make from it. How can I keep my spirits up while I'm in this waiting period for who knows how long?!
- Tired, The Creator

I apologize to readers for breaking my no-advice rule as I do sometimes, but my response here might get close to a recommendation!

There is such a wide chasm between seeming like a successful artist and being a successful artist. Especially because neither of those two things really has a definition. Who do you seem successful to? Your peers? The general public? Your parents’ friends who have literally no idea what your job actually is even though they ask a zillion pointed questions about it when you see them at holiday parties?

And what does being successful mean? Making the art you want to make? Making a living making that art? Making your exes jealous with the art-related photos you post on Instagram?

You probably need to make money to live (unless you’re independently wealthy in which case you don’t get to complain about how hard it is to be an artist and just have to accept that not EVERYTHING in your life works out on your agenda), which complicates things substantially. But not making money at art doesn’t make you a bad artist! It makes you bad at capitalism, which is not the same thing now matter how much we celebrate Barbie’s box office gross as an artistic achievement!

It’s also not embarrassing to make money doing other stuff while you do creative work. It’s a lot more effort to do two things, which makes it a pain in the ass and not even always possible. But you’re not less of a creative person just because you earn money in other ways. It helps to divest your idea of artistic success from the financial aspect as much as you can, which is extremely hard to do because everything costs money and making money lets you create more art. So fuck me, I guess! But you’ve got to make the art because you love it (or because someone’s paying money) and make the money because you have to. And when those two things intersect, that’s wonderful. And when they don’t, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. More likely it’s that the system failed you! That’s not great; it’s still a failing after all. But if you only feel good as an artist when rich people give you money, you’ll feel bad a lot of the time and probably do worse creative work because of it.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
The Beths - “Head In The Clouds”

As I alluded to earlier, on Saturday night, Maris and I saw The Beths live in Brooklyn at Warsaw, where you can enjoy a show and also eat pierogis. The band sounded great even though we were WAY in the back under the balcony, and the audience was uncommonly tall. My hypothesis is that the crowd’s average height has something to do with The Beths being from New Zealand, but I could have pulled that completely out of my ass.

The harmonies on “Head In The Clouds” are very tight and pleasant, and I lack the vocabulary to say why they’re the kind I like, and why when I hear folkier, ‘60s-type harmonies I feel slightly embarrassed. Like, I know there are guitars but it still feels very a cappella to me, but with acoustic guitars added to cover it up. You can’t trick me, Crosby Stills & Nash!!! I know what you’re up to!

Anyway this song has lots of the hallmarks of a classic That’s Marvelous favorite: jangle, the good kind of harmonies, being a little sad while sounding a lot hopeful. I hope you like it!

ALSO: Radar Peak’s debut album is out and it RULES!

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’m mostly doing shows around New York City for the next month! More on my website!

10/28: Halloween Reading at NYC LGBTQ Center Book Shop

11/8: Cracked Live at KGB Bar (NYC)

11/18: Bottle Rocket (Pittsburgh)