#55. Victories!

You can do it! And in fact you already did!

Hi everyone!

I hope you’re all staying psychologically coherent even as (where I live at least) the sun seems to set immediately after it rises (fact check pending).

I spent the long weekend in a whirlwind of family and friend visits, starting in New Jersey with my in-laws and then really picking up steam as my wife very graciously accompanied me to visit family and attend a high school reunion in Massachusetts. Boston-area radio had shifted to full-time Christmas music interspersed with coverage of the “humanitarian pause” (and exchange of some hostages/prisoners!) in Israel. Before we move on, just a quick reminder that a pause is not a full ceasefire and you can still call and email your local representatives about that!

In what is now a family tradition, my sister procured a twelve-pack of borderline-novelty Dunkin’ alcoholic beverages. This year, DD released a variety pack of spiked iced coffees that my sister and I (along with our parents who basically do not drink the rest of the year) tasted and rated. Spoiler alert: They were not good!!! The individual sips were not criminally bad, but drinking a whole can of any of the four flavors is something I would only do for money or on a dare from a person who should no longer intimidate me as an adult but still does for some reason. Dunkin’ also released a line of spiked iced teas which seemed on their face to be less of a doomed initiative, which is why we tried the coffees. UPDATE: I have since heard from my friend Colleen that the spiked iced teas are arguably WORSE!

Ben Affleck don’t look at this!!!!

On Saturday night, Maris (extraordinarily graciously, I should reiterate) came with me to my twentieth high school reunion. The reunion, which I was partially responsible for planning, was an extremely low-key endeavor. It was not at all like high school reunions from movies that seem to take place in big function halls or school gymnasia where people wear tuxedoes(?) and everyone is gasps when the one person who moved away shows up after all. It was not like that in part because nobody seemed interested in that level of formality, and also because we didn’t start planning the event until early October. We rented (okay…asked to use) the back room (“room” is maybe a strong word for the section of the bar we cordoned off) of a bar in my hometown, and it was perfect. Huge shout out to Jeff who (I think!) did the legwork of securing the space, which was exactly what we needed. My big contribution was bringing name tags so no one would have to be like: “SO nice to see you! Who the heck are you?”

I took literally zero pictures (because I am an elder millennial and it would have felt wrong to document a party in my hometown with anything other than a disposable camera), but I caught up with so many people ranging from “friends I still talk to” to “people I have not thought of (and who have not thought of me) since we all left our overnight graduation party at 6am on June 7th in 2003.”

Probably my favorite part of seeing so many people was hearing what everyone considered the headline story of their life. It’s so fascinating to see someone after five, ten, or twenty years and have to figure out how you define yourself in a context that anyone in the room could understand. It brought me a lot of joy hearing what my former classmates were eager to share. For some people it was spending time with their kids. One classmate was psyched to talk about her work with cancer patients. One was happy that her divorce had been finalized. (I went to a small enough school that I think most people knew that I work in comedy at some level, but not everyone had heard of any the stuff I’ve worked on. Which means, in one room in America, for one night, I was technically a more well-known comedian than John Oliver. Sorry, John. Take the L, big guy!!!)

All these little big picture conversations got me thinking about how what’s exciting for us to communicate in a given moment can take so many different forms! So I put out a call on the dead mall that is Twitter for people’s recent victories, and I’m going to share the results with you here along with a few words of enthusiasm for each person! Maybe, if you have some encouraging words to spare for any of these folks, you can leave them in the comments! I think that could be nice, right?

BUT FIRST A COUPLE OF SHOW ANNOUNCEMENTS

I’m telling some jokes this Tuesday (11/28) on Dan Licata and Joe Pera’s show at the Bell House in Brooklyn!

Many tickets for my 12/6 trivia competition against John Hodgman (NYC) are half price today only as a Cyber Monday sale!!!

On 12/23, I’m hosting a little What’s New? show at Union Hall (also in Brooklyn) with some comedian friends are in town for an audience of whoever’s in town over the holiday weekend. These shows are always a blast and usually sell out! Guests will be announced soon!

OKAY NOW ON TO THE READER VICTORIES

I’ve edited these a little bit and given the writers nicknames.

I got 10 years sober! Does that count?
- A Decade of Lemonade

Oh yeah it does!!! It counts 3,650-ish days, one at a time!! In Rent terms it’s 5,256,000 minutes of sobriety!! That’s so much counting and such wonderful news!

This Michigan alum celebrated a high stakes (sports only, very low stakes in life) football victory this weekend!
- We Blue It!

Congratulations on this sports victory. If you are anything like me, your mental well-being often oscillates wildly depending on the score of a game played by people who will never be aware of your existence. I am humiliated by this fact, but it is a part of who I am. I am glad you’re riding high, and I am sorry to the people of Ohio regarding their demoralizing defeat.

I feel really proud of hitting my New Year’s resolution of recycling 365 cans i found on little walks this year. My little dent in my climate change anxiety.
- Yes I Can

This one really touched my heart! It’s so nice to do something. Like, there are so many big terrible problems in the world the feel impossible to tackle, but doing any little thing is an improvement over doing no thing at all. Unless, I guess, you used these empty cans to bonk sea turtles on the head. Big change takes a huge group effort but little change doesn’t even have to make you break a sweat, really.

My victory is that I’ve been writing & recording a new song every week for 100 weeks in a row, as of last week. (I started this challenge nearly 2 years ago to try to bring some more joy into my life while struggling with chronic pain.)
- Two Years of Songs Make a Right

Whoa! This is excellent! There are bands that top the Billboard charts that never write a hundred songs, never mind over a span of two years! I’m not even sure I know the words to one hundred songs, even counting “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and the “Water Country” jingle.

Just today I completed my first year of a weekly comic strip. The final strip of year one won’t be out until the end of March but I’m really proud that I was able to finish a full year without missing a week.
- The Year Of Magical Inking

Wooooo! Soon you will fulfill your ultimate goal: Destroying Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau. (Editor’s note: This is just a guess at your ultimate goal.)

Hi! A small group of volunteers fed over 50 hungry people outside this week - 312th week of doing so.
- Fed Up

This is the good stuff right here! It takes so much effort to show up consistently for other people! So many folks (myself included) tend to do one nice thing and then pat themselves on the back for…I don’t know…a year? The rest of their lives? Your group had done six straight years of nice things. I haven’t even been able to commit to a hairline for that long in a row.

I roasted and carved a turkey for the first time and have honestly never felt more empowered. What a high!
- Tha Carver Vol. I

Incredible. It feels so good to learn a new skill, and I lose sight of that all the time. My friend just learned to knit and made a scarf, and I was like you can just do that????

I’m back on Lexapro for the first time (almost 18 months!) postpartum, and feel just so so much better! That’s my win. Taking back my mental health!
- License To Pill

Oh that must be such a relief! Congratulations on your brain feeling like your own brain again! (Or whoever’s brain feels good to have inside your head! I don’t presume to know your ideal brain!)

I recently, voluntarily, went to a funny farm. A looney bin, if you will. I realized it's such a feasible and reasonable thing to do when you're struggling mentally. Making this episode of NPR's "Life Kit" helped normalize what to do when you're unwell and faced with having to go to work. TL;DR: Take time off, if you can.
- JM

This is so beautiful and generous of you to share. (Editor’s note: As someone who has not had this experience, I wouldn’t personally use the terms “funny farm” or “looney bin.” But these were direct quotes from the reader. I’m not actually sure what the current preferred nomenclature is for such a facility. I’d probably panic and call it an Institution For Alternative Thoughts or an Imagination Hospital.)

My personal victory of the week was being able to make the trip from NY to MA and see every local pal and family member we've been missing. I even got to meet my childhood best friends' month-old baby! Heading back to NYC today (avoiding Wrentham outlet madness) feeling very warm and fuzzy
- The Visitine Empire

Incredible achievement! Way better than my standard strategy of seeing maybe one or two people and never telling anyone else I’m in town when I come home. I need to start inventing new kinds of reunions so I can see more people at once, I’m realizing.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year, but after 5 months of chemo and a successful surgery, I’m officially cancer free! I’m still recovering from the surgery (it’s, uh, super not fun. Good lord.), but hanging in there! Cancer is an absolute bitch so I’ve been using this to tell everyone in my circle to get checked/do self exams. It’s super important!
- Breast Case Scenario

Wow congratulations this is amazing!!! And, ignorantly, I’m just recently learning how much recovery these surgeries can require. I had previously thought about it as like “cancer gone/goal accomplished,” but obviously major surgery requires a recovery time. Sometimes it takes me days to bounce back from sleeping weird or driving for a long time.

I had a professional victory this week. I had done some work on the script for a new children’s movie, but as there was nothing in my contract about credit, I assumed I would be uncredited. But a few nights ago, I happened to look at the films IMDB page and saw that I am credited as a writer (additional screenplay material). I asked my producer about it...if it was a mistake and she said that no, it wasn't a mistake, it was well deserved. So this is the first project that I've written on for several years that I actually received official credit on. Credit is a tricky thing and so I just feel so happy and proud and grateful.
- Screen Queen

Oh hell yeah! As we all know, a job well done is its own reward, but the real reward is being able to prove to other people that you actually did the job!

Hi Josh! Just wanted to share with you that I made it to round three of a job interview for a career I actually want! Wish me luck!
- Round and Round and Round Again

Three interviews sound like a lot! I hope they have asked you enough questions by now comfortably to make the good decision to hire you!

I started a new job I was really hoping to get and it’s going very well!
- Employed Jorbison (Editor’s note: Okay this one is a stretch.)

I put this one after the previous one so as not to overshadow the third round interview accomplishment and also to show that sometimes people get the jobs they want!!!

I had a daughter! She’s 7 weeks old and an absolute delight! She’s also very tall for her age and I’m having daydreams of watching her in the Olympics someday!
- New Kid On The Block

This is such exciting news! Congratulations! I hope your daughter excels at Olympic-Level Getting Things Down Off Of High Shelves, or whatever pursuit she chooses once she becomes aware of her hands.

I have a marvelous thing! This week I finished working on the last episode of the Six Feet Under recap podcast I produce and edit, We're Not Over Six Feet Under, hosted by Jenna Scherer and Caroline McGraw (and briefly featuring your lovely wife!) We've been working on it since early 2019, and I estimate I've spent about eight thousand hours editing it, so I'm very proud to have made it all the way through.
- Alison Cherry

Huge news! Congratulations on finishing this excellent project that will continue to live on and delight people for years!

Two weeks ago I told my best friend of several years that I had feelings for her!!! Didn’t pay off, she doesn’t have romantic feelings for me. But after it didn’t pay off, even though it was emotionally turbulent and gutting and I wanted to barf all the time, I just relied on my friends and family and all the things I’ve learned about myself and my emotions over the past few years to stay sane and healthy, and yesterday she and I hung out and it felt really normal and lovely. And now I’m cleaning up on gay Hinge!
- The Friendship Didn’t Sail

Thank goodness you still have such a good friend to talk to about all of your upcoming (gay) Hinge adventures!!!!

My big accomplishment came yesterday when I made the last payment for my nephew’s college tuition. We’ve paid for my both niece and nephew, 8 years straight of payments. My husband and I don’t have kids. When my dad died we decided we would pay for niece/nephew as he would have done.
- Tuition Possible

Holy crap! This is so generous! Are you taking applications for additional nieces/nephews? Maybe this is something President Biden could look into for student loan relief, a national network of aunts and uncles?

I got a poem in the Atlantic!
- Brendan Joyce

YEAH YOU DID! GREAT WORK!

Hi Josh, my name is Emma and you were my preschool teacher!! I saw your tweet about celebrating victories and wanted to let you know that I am celebrating my decision to self-publish a photography book!
- Photos Finished

Wow this one really knocked me on my butt!!! It’s so wild to me (and probably extremely normal for them) that my former students are starting to turn twenty and are making art and living grownup lives! Occasionally someone I taught in like 2008 will reach out, and it’s always so nice! Emma! This is so great! Please let me know how I can purchase a copy of your book!!!! (I am also curious to see which of the three Emmas from your class you are!)

Okay readers, feel free to leave your own victories in the comments, or some hype for the people whose victories are chronicled above!

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Oasis - “Wonderwall”

The bar where my high school reunion took place last weekend featured (coincidentally) a guy playing cover songs on an acoustic guitar. He played a selection of tunes that could be loosely grouped as “hits of the 90s and 2000s” which really forced us to acknowledge that our graduating class technically started high school in a different century, and the music of our youth has drifted serenely into its classic rock era. We heard songs by the Cranberries and Jason Mraz and multiple Sublime covers (relevant to my interests, of course).

It felt comforting to hear songs that (basically) everyone in the room knew (basically) all the words to. And it was a fun reminder that sometimes it’s not the worst for something to feel a little on-the-nose. Clichés are clichés for a reason, after all. It’s because they work. I forget this sometimes and can occasionally be a little snobby!

For most of the night, we stood chatting in our hometown bar, listening to music specifically targeted towards us or people like us. It felt good to experience the most crystalline version of the thing we were doing. Pure, uncut nostalgia. And while it’s important to grow and change and learn, a few times every decade, I think it’s okay to really lean into the familiarity of an experience. You’re not a hack for playing the songs people like, and you’re not a hack for liking them. The Oasis cover the musician played was “Don’t Look Back In Anger” even though a guy in a baseball cap playing “Wonderwall” on an acoustic guitar has become a meme. So he did throw in a little twist…after all.

Anyway, here’s “Wonderwall.”

UPCOMING SHOWS

I’ve got some really fun shows coming up! Come see one! More NYC spots are listed on my website! Some more road stuff coming soon plus a big announcement I think.

11/28: Dan Joe Thanksgiving Show (Brooklyn)

12/6: Wits End with John Hodgman at the Midnight Theater (NYC)

12/14: Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me at Carnegie Hall (NYC)

12/23: What’s New? at Union Hall (Brooklyn)

1/18-1/20: The Comedy Vault (Batavia, IL)