I think it would be diving. I would be on the edge out there, looking down, and trembling head to toe. I would start crying for mommy and screaming like that time when I was 8 at the YMCA pool.
I'd turn the high jump into my own personal limbo event. The pole vault would be less dangerous than it appears because before I could get in the air and break my neck upon landing, I'd surely impale myself on the pole. As for the water events, (cue Martin Short) I'm not a strong swimmer, so the risk of drowning is really a bummer.
Any of the gymnastics - no way a mere mortal could do even one spin on the pommel horse for example. But I would very much like to have the physique of one of the gymnasts please
Josh, you didn’t name names so I won’t either, but I saw a motivational speaker/magician at a corporate event this spring and he was kind of sweet? I laughed at his schtick and he told a story about his best friend that was genuinely moving. If your guy included a rubik’s cube in his act, it’s the same one.
One of the most life-affirming moments I’ve ever had at a concert was being in an audience screaming out HAIL SATAN along with Mr John Darnielle, great vibes tbh
As far as Olympic embarrassments, so many to choose from but I think, considering a short childhood dalliance with breakdancing, trying to do it now at almost-40, with the internal knowledge of how I used to be much more agile (if not necessarily “good”) on top of the general public humiliation would probably top it for me. I would pull so many muscles at once
I think almost any Olympic event I tried to do would lead to massive injury or death, so if I absolutely had to choose, I would probably do one of the running events. Or maybe rowing. I would be incredibly bad at it and end up embarrassingly far behind, but I don't think I would worry a lot about dying.
Like Snoop, I am afraid of horses, so all equestrian events are off the table. But as far as “most embarrassing for me, personally”—and as I think my husband would attest—breakdancing would showcase literally all of my worst impulses/lack of skill, including the “lounge singer” faces that I am constitutionally incapable of not making whilst dancing 🕺Also I would FOR SURE hurt myself.
If I were forced to do the marathon, I'd probably pull a move like the Japanese marathoner Shizo Kanakuri and leave the course, join a garden party, and leave the country. (But without finishing the race 50+ years later.)
Would've guessed you've seen dozens of Mountain Goats shows! How was it? Did they play a song you love more than others?
(The first time I saw them "after" the pandemic, they played "Steal Smoked Fish" and I cried like a funeral. Otherwise, I think "Shelved" rules live lately.)
I really feel for F and can definitely relate. My husband and I got married in September 2015. He quit his job in November to become a teacher and was told he would be hired by a school mid school year. Of course that didn’t happen and we ended up using all of our honeymoon money to cover bills until he finally started working the following year. Not a great way to start a marriage. But hey, we will be celebrating 9 years together next month. Don’t worry F, it won’t always be this way.
I think it would be diving. I would be on the edge out there, looking down, and trembling head to toe. I would start crying for mommy and screaming like that time when I was 8 at the YMCA pool.
I've been thinking about diving, and my best plan would be to go feet-first, and kind of twist around without flipping at all.
I would barely be able to get halfway up the ladder without freaking out from the height!
I'd turn the high jump into my own personal limbo event. The pole vault would be less dangerous than it appears because before I could get in the air and break my neck upon landing, I'd surely impale myself on the pole. As for the water events, (cue Martin Short) I'm not a strong swimmer, so the risk of drowning is really a bummer.
Crafty!
Any of the gymnastics - no way a mere mortal could do even one spin on the pommel horse for example. But I would very much like to have the physique of one of the gymnasts please
Josh, you didn’t name names so I won’t either, but I saw a motivational speaker/magician at a corporate event this spring and he was kind of sweet? I laughed at his schtick and he told a story about his best friend that was genuinely moving. If your guy included a rubik’s cube in his act, it’s the same one.
Hmmm! He did NOT use a Rubik's cube, but it still may be the same guy. His inspirational stuff was more vibey and less narrative!
One of the most life-affirming moments I’ve ever had at a concert was being in an audience screaming out HAIL SATAN along with Mr John Darnielle, great vibes tbh
As far as Olympic embarrassments, so many to choose from but I think, considering a short childhood dalliance with breakdancing, trying to do it now at almost-40, with the internal knowledge of how I used to be much more agile (if not necessarily “good”) on top of the general public humiliation would probably top it for me. I would pull so many muscles at once
:(
I think almost any Olympic event I tried to do would lead to massive injury or death, so if I absolutely had to choose, I would probably do one of the running events. Or maybe rowing. I would be incredibly bad at it and end up embarrassingly far behind, but I don't think I would worry a lot about dying.
Good move, imo!!
Like Snoop, I am afraid of horses, so all equestrian events are off the table. But as far as “most embarrassing for me, personally”—and as I think my husband would attest—breakdancing would showcase literally all of my worst impulses/lack of skill, including the “lounge singer” faces that I am constitutionally incapable of not making whilst dancing 🕺Also I would FOR SURE hurt myself.
Hahahaha 100% with you on this!
If I were forced to do the marathon, I'd probably pull a move like the Japanese marathoner Shizo Kanakuri and leave the course, join a garden party, and leave the country. (But without finishing the race 50+ years later.)
Smart!!
Would've guessed you've seen dozens of Mountain Goats shows! How was it? Did they play a song you love more than others?
(The first time I saw them "after" the pandemic, they played "Steal Smoked Fish" and I cried like a funeral. Otherwise, I think "Shelved" rules live lately.)
It was great! I loved hearing stuff from Beat The Champ, which has a special place in my heart for reasons I can't quite name!
I really feel for F and can definitely relate. My husband and I got married in September 2015. He quit his job in November to become a teacher and was told he would be hired by a school mid school year. Of course that didn’t happen and we ended up using all of our honeymoon money to cover bills until he finally started working the following year. Not a great way to start a marriage. But hey, we will be celebrating 9 years together next month. Don’t worry F, it won’t always be this way.