Thank you!! In this case, the botching was fairly standard. I asked for milk and one sugar, and I saw the woman behind the counter punch in cream while saying “yes!” and then I reiterated milk, and she agreed again, and then gave me cream. Hahahah. These things happen! It is, imo, part of the authentic Boston Dunkin’ experience!
Haha word. Could be like how in some places, “coke” means any kind of soda and so you could order a coke and get a Pepsi. To this person, “milk” means anything white.
I had two grandmas growing up, who coincidentally shared the same first name. They’ve both been gone for many years, but even now as an adult, when I think of them, I instinctively revert back to the language I used as a child to tell them apart:
my nice grandma and my mean grandma.
The nice grandma was elegant and clever - possessor of a quiet strength. She wore smart sweater sets, made amazing noodle kugel, and was an impeccable and generous giver of gifts. She prefaced all present-giving with: “[Wear/Use/Enjoy] it in good health - good health is the best gift you can ever get” and affectionately squeeze your hand.
The mean grandma (who I realize now was likely dealing with undiagnosed, untreated, unacknowledged clinical depression) was a petite, shriveled lizard woman who would drag me down to the pool area of her condo and forbid me from going swimming because then she would have to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t drown. Instead, she made me sit with her and her snippy friends as they circled their pool chairs, chain-smoked filterless Camels, and talked unfiltered shit about people I didn’t know. I had to stay close to the perimeter of the circle the whole time so it’d be easy to periodically nudge me to empty out the Chock Full O’Nuts coffee can carcasses they used as ashtrays.
At my bat mitzvah, she announced to me and anyone in earshot that my dress, picked out by my mother and me at a children’s store, “looked slutty” and she wouldn’t be surprised if I turned into a “big slut” as I got older.
Cigarette smoking actually makes me really angry, both because the smell makes me sick and because I once lost an apartment in a fire caused by someone dropping a cigarette. So honestly, I love that vaping exists, although I'd never do it. It doesn't smell like ass and doesn't cause fires, and it's still unhealthy but not quite as bad as inhaling smoke. So yes, people, if it's keeping you from smoking, go ahead and vape!
dear josh,
another great piece as always:
follow-up question about your dunkin' donuts order: HOW BOTCHED WAS IT?
or HOW WAS IT BOTCHED?
inquiring minds and all.
also fine if it's secret.
thanks for sharing everything (that you choose to)! you're the best!
love
myq
PS "Get ready to hear about my parents’ email address (singular), audience!!!" is very funny! can't wait!
Thank you!! In this case, the botching was fairly standard. I asked for milk and one sugar, and I saw the woman behind the counter punch in cream while saying “yes!” and then I reiterated milk, and she agreed again, and then gave me cream. Hahahah. These things happen! It is, imo, part of the authentic Boston Dunkin’ experience!
Haha word. Could be like how in some places, “coke” means any kind of soda and so you could order a coke and get a Pepsi. To this person, “milk” means anything white.
JOSH! Me toooooooo!
I had two grandmas growing up, who coincidentally shared the same first name. They’ve both been gone for many years, but even now as an adult, when I think of them, I instinctively revert back to the language I used as a child to tell them apart:
my nice grandma and my mean grandma.
The nice grandma was elegant and clever - possessor of a quiet strength. She wore smart sweater sets, made amazing noodle kugel, and was an impeccable and generous giver of gifts. She prefaced all present-giving with: “[Wear/Use/Enjoy] it in good health - good health is the best gift you can ever get” and affectionately squeeze your hand.
The mean grandma (who I realize now was likely dealing with undiagnosed, untreated, unacknowledged clinical depression) was a petite, shriveled lizard woman who would drag me down to the pool area of her condo and forbid me from going swimming because then she would have to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t drown. Instead, she made me sit with her and her snippy friends as they circled their pool chairs, chain-smoked filterless Camels, and talked unfiltered shit about people I didn’t know. I had to stay close to the perimeter of the circle the whole time so it’d be easy to periodically nudge me to empty out the Chock Full O’Nuts coffee can carcasses they used as ashtrays.
At my bat mitzvah, she announced to me and anyone in earshot that my dress, picked out by my mother and me at a children’s store, “looked slutty” and she wouldn’t be surprised if I turned into a “big slut” as I got older.
Turns out, they were both right.
Happy Monday!
Thank you for sharing this, Daryl!!!
Sooooo many indoor vapers thinking they're being sneaky in the library where I work.
LOL
Cigarette smoking actually makes me really angry, both because the smell makes me sick and because I once lost an apartment in a fire caused by someone dropping a cigarette. So honestly, I love that vaping exists, although I'd never do it. It doesn't smell like ass and doesn't cause fires, and it's still unhealthy but not quite as bad as inhaling smoke. So yes, people, if it's keeping you from smoking, go ahead and vape!
No surprise, you were a dang delight!!!